How low has “Glee” sunk? They’re writing their own reviews.
“Three words: ‘Grease.’ McKinley. Bravo,” raved some idiot from the McKinley High newspaper.
I’ve got two words for that: Yeah, right.
Anyone who asks for more after sitting through “Glease” is either insane, a self-loathing masochist or both. Either way they should be instantly committed to “American Horror Story: Asylum,” which is what I’m going to go marathon to erase the atrocious waking nightmare that is “Glee” Season 4 from my mind as quickly as possible.
I didn’t commit to recapping “Glee” because I hated it. So it’s actually painful for me to write about a show that I once loved, have always at least really liked, and now completely despise. But that’s how quickly things have changed for me and “Glee.”
There was only scene I actually understood in the entire hour. And really it was just a simple dialogue exchange:
Kurt: “Apparently the girl playing Sandy has gained so much weight she can’t fit into her clothes.”
Rachel: “That’s unfortunate, but it doesn’t really have anything to do with us.”
No, it doesn’t. And it shouldn’t have anything to do with “Glee” either. I have no interest in watching Kitty “Gaslight” Marley into a bout of bulimia. And I have even less interest in who Marley wants to date, or anything to do with Kitty, Ryder, Marley, Jake or Unique, period. I don’t want to hear them sing, I don’t want to watch them dance, I don’t want to see them. And yet there they are, all over “Glee” like they own the place.
Meanwhile, the original cast members have been reduced to simpering idiots who mope around because of nonsensical breakups. Oh, and Sue is really pissed that Finn called her baby “retarded,” which I’m pretty sure he only did because the writers wanted Sue to have another reason to be pissed off (like they ever needed an excuse before).
Look, I loved Santana singing “There Are Worse Things I Could Do” because Naya Rivera is amazing and I’m only human. But even when we got those weird extreme close-ups of Cory Monteith and Lea Michele imagining themselves in the “You’re The One That I Want” number, and then Chris Colfer and Darren Criss and Harry Shum Jr. and Jenna Ushkowitz and Heather Morris and Naya Rivera were all there too, it wasn’t a moving moment expressing the characters’ mixed emotions over romantic separations. It wasn’t a wistful callback to the glory days of “Glee.” It was just a flat out depressing reminder that this show used to be fun and daring and different and crazy. And now it’s not.
I know that it’s so 2011 to declare you’re breaking up with “Glee.” And I thought we’d be OK. We made it through some really rough patches (even “Extraordinary Merry Christmas”!), but I’m not sure this relationship was really built to last.
At the moment, I can’t remember what it was I ever liked about this show.