Put your pens away. Here are all the headlines that will never come to pass after this year's weird, chill, old Grammys came and went.
—
Petty Revenge: Why Sam Smith Went Home Empty-Handed
Iggy Azalea And The Forgiving Race Grace Of Grammy
Gospel Choirs: Why Are They So Under-Used
Beck Can't Catch A Break: Three Different Decades Of Disappointment
Beyonce's Album Of The Year Win: Will Her First Be Her Last?
Boy Were The Grammys Hedonistic And Godless This Year
#LeftShark Returns: Katy Perry's Sidekick Gets A Grammys Sequel
Pharrell Finally Dressed Like An Adult
All About That Brass: Meghan Trainor Wins Big For Big
Why The Recording Academy Endorsed Spotify
Redeemed! Gwen Stefani's Finally Forgiven For Harajuku Girls After Knock-Out Performance
The Softer Side Of Madonna?
Kanye West's No-Show: The Ultimate Grammy Troll
Kanye West Keeps It Low-Key After The 2015 Grammys
Taylor Swift Keeps It Low-Key At 2015 Grammys
Glad We've All Moved On From The Patriots' Super Bowl Win
Shia LaBeouf Can Be Invited Places Again
To Be Young: No Aging Rockers Sucked Air Out Of The Room, Nope, None
Why Was This Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault PSA Paired With Chris Brown And R. Kelly Wins?
'Let It Go?' Grammy Voters Said Yes, Freezing Out 'Frozen'
Rapt With Rap: Why The Grammys Aired So Many Hip-Hop Awards
Why The Grammys Aired So Many Awards
Katy Perry's 'Dark Horse' Dark Horse Honor: Pop Star Finally Scores Her First Grammy
Black Keys, White Stripes Frontman Hug It Out
Why Was Annie Lennox Ever Famous
Sia And Daft Punk Seen In The Same Room Together
Christmas Miracle In February: The Grammys Ended On Time