Hello to Glenn Close, the legendary thespian who just joined Twitter under the rightfully proud handle @TheGlennClose. We are awed and grateful for your presence, and not just because you did '80s hair better than any other human being. We really enjoyed what you did with that strange, underwritten role in “The Natural,” we gagged on your cruel glamor in “Dangerous Liaisons,” and we especially appreciated how you lit cable TV on fire with Patty Hewes' dictatorial grimace on “Damages.” We regret that we will never see you in “Barnum.” Thanks for always being kick-ass, and double-thanks for deigning to join Twitter. We will make it great for you!
Here's who we recommend you follow, Glenn Close.
Marcia Gay Harden
Love these old stone walls in NY upstate. Property dividers of past. pic.twitter.com/W5xnPkCyyT
– Marcia Gay Harden (@Beloving2) December 22, 2014
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What a fabulous “Damages” guest star, am I right, Glenn? Have you watched “Pollock” recently? Marcia Gay Harden threw down some loving authority as Lee Krasner. Great role and performance. She can pretty much do everything, and judging by her IMDB credits, she actually has done everything.
Diane Keaton
I support freedom of speech. Do you?
– Diane Keaton (@Diane_Keaton) January 16, 2015
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Why in the world has there not been a Glenn Close/Diane Keaton movie yet? Is that too much talent and charisma in one place? Please hash this out with Diane on Twitter when you get a chance, Glenn.
Tom Hanks
.@AppStore #HanxWriter pic.twitter.com/u5HL4bYgy2
– Tom Hanks (@tomhanks) August 14, 2014
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This just seems like a natural fit. You're both highly intelligent actors and mental health advocates. Easiest click ever.
Margaret Atwood
Tell the Ontario government to stay the course and protect the bees from killer pesticides. https://t.co/WpmX4NcWpu #bees
– Margaret E. Atwood (@MargaretAtwood) January 19, 2015
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I just feel like you two would get along.
Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin
Arriving in Park City for #Sundance with @LilyTomlin pic.twitter.com/7BiXlAQltU
– Jane Seymour Fonda (@Janefonda) January 26, 2015
Weird secret of mine: I think it'd be awesome to see you (Glenn) play Jane's role on “The Newsroom,” and I think it'd be equally cool to see Jane play your role in “Guardians of the Galaxy.” Your versions of onscreen austerity are not very similar, so it's interesting to consider what it'd be like if you guys exchanged roles. Would you be down to play Lillian Hellman? We need to reintroduce her to this generation. You could handle that task, obviously.
(To everyone who isn't Glenn Close: OK, y'all, get on Twitter and make Glenn feel welcome.)