‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ recap: ‘Mexi-Loco’

03.23.14 5 years ago 2 Comments

Oh, Apollo. Sure, it's really swell that you managed to come to some kind of a semi-coherent, possibly drunken accord with Kenya. That's peachy keen. The problem is that Phaedra has been telling you for a mighty long time not to talk to Kenya, and you just don't care. She might as well be telling you to eat your vegetables or wash the dishes, because you keep reacting as if she's being a mean old mommy, which is not really a great thing in a marriage. 

So, it's no surprise that when Phaedra walks into the bar area and discovers the two of you yakking like old pals, she wants to knit a scarf out of your testicles, Apollo. I was expecting more of a beat down, but no such luck. For one thing, Phaedra knows Kenya's a good foot taller than she is, and for another, Phaedra has too much attached to acting like a perfect lady when the cameras are rolling.

But hey, Apollo? When NeNe and Porsha take Phaedra's side and pull you aside to talk sense to you? Maybe take that seriously. NeNe never, ever takes Phaedra's side, so this should be a big, neon sign telling you you are absolutely wrong. I mean, Gregg is thinking you might get “burnt up in your sleep.” People are worried Phaedra is going to kill you, and some of them seem to think it would be justified. 

Yet Apollo gives Phaedra attitude when she wants to get into the hotel room instead of hanging out with the gang, then makes a feeble attempt at playing nice the next morning! Here's a rose! I mean, a lilly! You should smile and be juvial! Oh, jovial, tomato tomahto! No, Apollo, that one's pretty set — jovial is jovial, juvenile is juvenile, and you're kind of being the latter, asshat. 

Instead of Phaedra ripping Apollo apart, she's remarkably civil with her crabby ex-con (probably the right decision, really). She just grumps her way through his promise to do something “romantic” with her and a surprise early birthday party (complete with condom-filed piñata!). The fun ends when Kenya tries to recreate “couples' night” which went so well the first time. 

Kenya tries to get under NeNe's skin by bringing up Marlo, which renders NeNe effectively mute. Kenya thinks she can shame NeNe into talking, but come on, NeNe's a pro at this. If she doesn't feel like bringing NayNay out to play, she isn't. Period. 

But what does bring NayNay out to play? An opportunity (after the boys have left) to attack Porsha for her ignorance about old men and sex. Oh, and Kandi gets a wrap on the knuckles for asking if NeNe still gets a period. There's NayNay, throwing shade like a pro! 

Another topic for the whole gang? Cheating! Miss Lawrence thinks all men cheat. Hey, Apollo thinks everyone cheats! Hint, hint! Phaedra thinks people (read: her husband) shouldn't get married if they want to cheat (also hint, hint). She would kick a cheater to the curb (hint, you may want to read your pre-nup, Apollo). 

Anyway, the guys get kicked out to fight on their own, allowing Kenya to address the elephant in the room — Phaedra (zing!). Phaedra admits she left the room the other night so she didn't slap the dog bleep out of Kenya, and Kenya raises an eyebrow. “You feeling froggy, jump,” she says. Oh, wouldn't that be awesome?

Still, there is more to discuss. Phaedra thinks Kenya is a manipulative ratchet kind of person! Kenya has nothing to hide! Porsha jumps in to make it clear Kenya doesn't know of what she speaks, not being married and all, and Kenya points out Porsha was Kordell's beard. 

As Kandi says, “Alrighty!” 

Kenya and Phaedra agree to not trust one another, then politely get up and exit the room like women who are only functionally insane. The problem is, Gregg and Peter aren't as skilled at arguing, so in the guys' room (actually Kenya's room), it's game on.

Gregg feels Peter disrespected his wife at Kenya's fundraiser, which might have been better addressed, oh, after Kenya's fundraiser. Peter points out that NeNe was talking to him, he talked back to her, and he didn't feel the need to clear everything through Gregg. Todd tries to get in the middle of the posturing old men, and Apollo tells him not to bother. Todd ultimately realizes, duh, good advice. Yes, Apollo can offer useful advice, at least when it comes to fighting and possibly making prison shivs. 

The women stumble into a big screaming match, and of course NeNe has to get involved and tell Peter to stop being a bitch. Yes, that happened. 

Amazingly, what looked like it was going to be a nasty confrontation between Kenya and Phaedra has totally changed direction, and longtime friends NeNe and Cynthia (and Peter and Gregg) are going to be at odds in the season finale. I guess we might have to make room for NayNay after all. 

Do you think Peter was right, or do you side with Gregg? Do you think Apollo and Kenya were wrong to talk to one another against Phaedra's wishes? Do you think Kenya was playing dirty by recreating Couples' Night? 

Around The Web