Hello, Eastern Time Zone. I am in you.
It’s Passover Season, which must mean that I’m temporarily on the Right Coast, with my family watching hockey in the other room as I attempt to concentrate on which “American Idol” singer the voters decided to send home.
As I mentioned last night, I sense that we’re getting very close to Judges’ Save time on “American Idol.” I think the number of contestants who could be voted out tonight without being saved by the judges is relatively small.
Let’s find out…
8:00 p.m. ET. Phillip Phillips isn’t going home. I feel like I haven’t used him for a Thursday recap for a few weeks. So he’s tonight’s spoiler-free image.
8:01 p.m. Shout. Shout. Let it all out.
8:01 p.m. Is that Matt Rogers in the audience? Or just some other “American Idol” contestants who looks like he may once have appeared in the Rose Bowl?
8:03 p.m. Elise Testone is really getting into the ’80s Week theme with that headband.
8:03 p.m. Joshua is sick. He feels light-headed and when he stands up, he fears he may pass out. Yikes. Can’t we just reassure Joshua Ledet that he isn’t going home and send him back to the mansion? Seriously. He’s safe. Why torture him.
8:04 p.m. I’ve never heard of The Wanted. I have heard of Kellie Pickler. That probably makes me a bad person.
8:05 p.m. Ryan Seacrest teases the debut of Jennifer Lopez’s new video, “Dance Again” by teasing J-Lo about her “chemistry” with one particular dancer. The video is a little sexy, but a lot weird. I mean… Lots of cleavage. And I like that. But it’s mostly upside-down cleavage and that’s disorienting. Oh and towards the end, people keep grabbing J-Lo’s rear end. And she’s been painted several metallic colors. I believe that we can all agree that as a singer, Jennifer Lopez is a very sexy woman.
8:08 p.m. To be continued?!?!? With WHAT?
8:11 p.m. This week’s Ford Commercial is set to “Alright.” They spent some quality time on the New York street on the FOX lot. I’m looking for Nolita from “Kitchen Confidential.”
8:12 p.m. Hollie is looking really glum. Is she sensing that she’s the singer LEAST likely to get Saved if she’s eliminated? Or am I the only one sensing that?
8:13 p.m. We’re doing our results by Duets tonight. Jessica Sanchez and Joshua Ledet, who dueted very sweetly last night, are up first. Joshua is, at least thus far, remaining on his feet successfully. Jimmy thinks that Joshua is becoming increasingly confident and he gives him all 10s. “Jessica came on last night and did what Jessica does,” Jimmy says, but he actually means that as a negative, since he wants to see Jessica choose bigger songs. Jimmy suggests that it’s a competition between Jessica and Joshua and Joshua won last night. “There weren’t a lot of songs that really fit my voice in the ’80s,” Jessica explains. That’s her way of saying, “I don’t have a clue what songs existed in the ’80s and I didn’t bother to research.” Because… um… Jessica can sing and there were songs in the ’80s that rewarded people who could sing.
8:16 p.m. Joshua and Jessica are both safe. Duh-doy.
8:20 p.m. So this is The Wanted. And this song is called “Glad You Came.” Oh. Wait. I have heard this song before. But never with this much fog. And with so many strangely attired dancers. Why do the dancers have red-and-black flannels around their waists? And why didn’t somebody suggest that the “Idol” singers didn’t need to be sitting on the stage for all of this. They’re much too much a part of this performance. Awkwardly. I should check to see what’s up in the hockey game.
8:24 p.m. The men of The Wanted are hugging everybody in sight. Now I know how they got to be so popular. Hugging. J-Lo appears to be a fan.
8:28 p.m. Our next duet pair facing judgement is Skylar Laine & Colton Dixon. Skylar had the night’s stand-out solo with “Wind Beneath My Wings,” but you’ll recall that I thought Colton’s contribution to their duet was just dreadful. Skylar proved to Jimmy that she’s a power singer, suggesting that she went from the bottom right to the top. Jimmy thought Colton was good, but not great on Wednesday.
8:31 p.m. Gee, Colton. That’s a VERY prominent cross.
8:31 p.m. Without any results for the previous pair, Hollie Cavanagh & DeAndre Brackensick are brought down for their evaluations. “Last night wasn’t even a great high school performance,” Jimmy says of Hollie, expecting her to return to the Bottom Three. Yay. Jimmy thinks DeAndre isn’t growing and he derides the judges for raving about him. Jimmy also correctly notes that it would be up to J-Lo to save DeAndre if he’s rejected by America. The judges stand by their raves for DeAndre.
8:34 p.m. DeAndre and Hollie are both totally cool with being compared negatively to other contestants. Or so they say. DeAndre is in the Bottom Three. A young woman who can pretty much only be DeAndre’s sister is very emotional. Colton and his cross are safe. Skylar and Hollie are roomies and besties. But only Skylar is safe. Hollie’s also in the Bottom Three. So far, so good, America.
8:40 p.m. Ah, Kellie Pickler. I’m not sure that any “Idol” singer has evolved more impressively since their “Idol” career ended. Yes, Jennifer Hudson became an Oscar-winning actress, which was unexpected, but everybody knew she was prodigiously talented. Kellie, on the other hand, was a vocally rusty Carrie Underwood wannabe on “American Idol.” Since then, she’s become a perfectly respectable country chanteuse with very impressive stage confidence. She’s not great, but she’s managed her skills in a way that I genuinely respect.
8:47 p.m. Oh right. We haven’t covered all of the duets. Elise Testone & Phil-Phil come on down. Jimmy thought Wednesday was Phil-Phil’s worst performance of the season and he worries that Phil-Phil may be standing still. Jimmy says that Elise choked and that she may fall from the top to the bottom. Elise says she was feeling the performance, but maybe it wasn’t the best performance for a competition. And Phil-Phil is just trying to be himself. Yes. We’ve heard that before, Phil-Phi.
8:50 p.m. The last person in our Bottom Three is… Elise Testone, meaning I predicted the full Bottom Three. No. I’m not claiming that was all that impressive a prediction.
8:51 p.m. Before going to commercial, Ryan sends Hollie to safety.
8:54 p.m. Steven Tyler doesn’t think America got the Bottom Two right. J-Lo and Randy agree that America got the Bottom Two half-right. Harsh.
8:55 p.m. The fewest votes went to… DeAndre Brackensick. “Wow,” Randy Jackson says. Are the judges really going to waste their Save on DeAndre? That would be ridiculous, but I can imagine J-Lo threatening to hold her breath until she gets her way.
8:57 p.m. Please send DeAndre home, judges?
8:58 p.m. “This is as tough as it gets,” Ryan says. The crowd wants DeAndre saved. They don’t get to choose.
8:58 p.m. J-Lo tells DeAndre is an amazing performer and he’s going to share a lot with the world. J-Lo makes it clear that she voted to Save, but the other two judges did not. That means that DeAndre Brackensick is heading home. Interesting that J-Lo didn’t get her way. I wonder if there’ll be blowback for that down the road.
9:00 p.m. I’m OK with that as a result. Some people will be very OK with that result. Other people will be sad. And that’s why “American Idol” is fun.
What’d you think?