Recap: ‘Big Brother’ Thursday – 5th Eviction and a Non-Showmance in Jeopardy

First off, special thanks to Ryan McGee for filling in last week when Louis and I were up to our necks in Comic-Con.

Second off, can we please put an end to Caleb/Amber as an available pairing? Other than serving as stealth promotion for CBS' “Stalker,” the non-showmance has accomplished nothing beyond sheer creepiness. And since “Stalker” is horrible, I'm not sure that stealth promotion for it is something I want to endorse away. 

Will the hamsters send Amber home? 

Let's find out…

9:02 p.m. It's Day 42 in The House and we're picking up in the aftermath of Amber going up on the Block. “I'm sorry, Zach. You don't get under my skin one bit and I'm not going to cry over your words,” Amber says. Meanwhile, although she faced no new words from Zach, Jocasta is crying up a storm. In the Have-Not room, Caleb is still insisting that Amber's presence on the Block is a test of her attitude and her readiness.

9:06 p.m. Amber comes to Frankie and wants to know why she's on the block. Even though he's the HoH, Frankie professes ignorance and puts the blame on Caleb and his “passions.” I'd want to stay away from Caleb and his “passions,” but Amber's game for a confrontation. “You have something to say?” Amber says, approaching Caleb, who is reading the Bible in the creepiest way possible. He has a passage about “trust” ready for exactly this moment, but she doesn't want to hear it. Darn. I wanted to hear what Caleb had to say. “At this point I have a million things running through my mind,” Caleb says, terrifyingly. I don't want to know a hundred of the things running through Caleb's mind, much less a thousand or a million. Caleb, of course, cracks and tells Amber that the whole alliance wanted her out. “I do feel betrayed,” says Amber, who thinks her mistake was helping others.

9:10 p.m. “Amber does not deserve to be where she is,” Caleb tells Frankie, interrupting his morning calisthenics. Caleb's eyes are red-rimmed as he laments Poor Amber's fate. “I haven't seen a cowboy cry this much since 'Brokeback Mountain,'” Frankie says of Beast Mode Cowboy. In a different part of the House, Zach asks Amber if she likes Caleb and she cries and leaves the room. “I'm so tired of Zach,” Amber cries. “It's like he wants to be some kind of hero or something,” No, it's not “like” that. He's announced exactly that repeatedly. To Amber's face. Amber stresses and adds that she has every right to put Caleb up if she wants to. Christine sees an opportunity here and approaches Derrick and Frankie to reassure them that Amber would target Caleb next. The reaction is not what Christine was hoping for. “That is the piece of information that I can use to put the nail in Amber's coffin,” Frankie cackles. Frankie tells Caleb about Amber, Zach jumps around like a chaos demo and Caleb storms out. “I feel like I've got one of the biggest knives in my back and a dagger in my heart,” Caleb says, casting aside his bunny slippers in rage. 

9:19 p.m. Julie Chen begins the live segment of the show by offering her condolences to Derrick for the death of his grandfather. This is the second straight Thursday Julie has had to start this way, which is a bit eerie. Zach, asked about his erratic speeches, reminds everybody that he hates them. Everybody laughs, as if he's not being serious. Even Nicole has made peace with being a fruit-loop-dingus. Caleb explains that the bunny slippers are Amber's and that the scarves are because he's cold. 

9:21 p.m. What is Team America's new mission? They have to vote against the majority of the House and then accuse two other hamsters of being responsible. Team America blew their last mission, but this one is pretty easy. It's a potential long-term killer, but if all they want to do is complete the mission it couldn't be easier. Donny, however, is worried about his ability to call somebody out falsely and he wants to decline the mission. “This is not gonna be a tough mission to pull off. It's gonna be a tough mission to survive,” Frankie says correctly.

9:27 p.m. Due to a Slingbox error, I missed the speeches, so it's live-voting time: Hayden votes to evict Amber. Victoria votes for “the fakest of them all,” Amber. Donny votes to evict Amber. “Sorry, America, about the mission. Too risky,” Donny says. Derrick apologizes to America votes to evict Amber, making it 4-0.

9:34 p.m. Let's continue: Zach “gladly” votes to evict Amber, sealing her fate. What will Caleb do? “I sadly, sadly vote to evict my beautiful girl Amber,” Caleb says. Christine continues the move toward yet another unanimous vote and Cody follows. “Nicole hasn't made any big moves in the game,” Julie Chen taunts and, indeed, Nicole votes to evict Amber.

9:36 p.m. By a vote of 9-0, Amber is evicted. I'm not sure how she didn't see this coming, but she doesn't even put on a fake smile, though she has several fake hugs. “I played a very loyal game,” Amber tells them, urging them to keep the Q-Tip jar coming, whatever that means. Jocasta is relieved. Beast Mode Cowboy is in Beast Mode. “It's what happens when you bite the hand that feeds you,” he grumbles.

9:38 p.m. Amber says that she felt betrayed by Caleb. “I'm sorry that I'm not interested in him and I'm not gonna pretend to be to win some money,” she struts, as the crowd cheers. Why couldn't she get the girls to join with her? “They're saving their butts,” Amber sighs. She's proud that she didn't blow up anybody's game on her way out. She admits that Caleb's crush impacted her game. “Him doing all that, I don't even know… He has my bunny slippers still. Can I at least get those back?” Amber stutters. No, she cannot.

9:40 p.m. Good-bye messages: Zach had no regrets. Christine tells Amber about The Detonators and tells her that Caleb's next. “You're a little taste of home,” Donny tells her, making her cry. Donny makes everybody cry every week. “Out conversations were always great, but at the end of the game, Amber-Bamber, I'm still the King of this House and the slippers just don't fit no more,” Caleb says, crowning himself. Amber says that Zach is the villain of the House, but Donny is running it. Amber tells the crowd that she's single, but says she won't be Caleb's date to the finale. Meanie.

9:48 p.m. Let's HoH! The hamsters viewed videos of themselves from earlier in the summer and those videos will off HoH competition clues. They were almost maniacally excited to see themselves on TV. Clips include Victoria dropping an egg and Nicole in her Germitard being attacked by her skein. Zach, announcing he's the smartest person in the House, is sure he's going to win.

9:49 p.m. The game is called Getting Loopy. It's just a series of True/False questions about the videos. Jocasta is the first hamster out. Everybody paid too much attention and, after five questions, only Jocasta is out. Christine and Victoria and Derrick go out on the sixth question. This is the first time I've been impressed by Nicole, who is the first person to answer to nearly every question. “You guys are good,” Julie grumbles as we pass the 10th question without any additional eliminations. Cody goes out on Question 11. 

9:55 p.m. Good grief. We're “out of time” — despite a solid five minutes in which to keep going — and five people are still remaining. It's miraculous that Julie still has any questions remaining. 

9:58 p.m. We'll have to tune in on Sunday to find out the HoH results. Or I'll just go look at a spoiler site.

9:59 p.m. Yay! Next Thursday is the double-elimination Week of “Big Brother” in One Episode hour. 

Are you sad to see Amber go? Are you at least relieved to no longer have to watch Caleb stalking Amber? And are you OK with the HoH competition not ending tonight, or would you have liked a tiebreaker?