Recap: ‘Dancing with the Stars’ boots a pair of Broadway babies

So, who will be going home tonight? The Ewok (Chaz Bono), the bore (Rob Kardashian), the ice queen (Nancy Grace) or someone we’d never expect? I’d hate to guess, as this season has been nothing if not unpredictable. But I am expecting to hear some more fighting words from Maks (or at least not an apology). Maks is not one to back down from a fight. I just hope he doesn’t smack Len, because the poor guy might crumble into dust. 

Speaking of Len, he tells us last night was a mix of frights, fights and delights. Cute. He wants to see J.R. and Karina perform their quick step again. I always wonder if this dance is reward or punishment. Sure, it’s praise from the judges (they thought it was so nice they want to see it twice!), but I have to think these guys are exhausted and, if they’re doing any dancing on a Tuesday, they’d prefer to be working on their next routine. Plus, this performance comes to us after voting has closed, so there’s no advantage from that perspective. Still, J.R. and Karina are spot on and charming once again, so from that perspective, it’s just plain nice to see. 

Our first couple on the block is J.R. and Karina. I have to say, I’m rooting for J.R. to take the mirror ball. If it’s between him and whiney, hypercompetitive Ricki, he’s simply more personable, an equally strong dancer, and that war hero thing doesn’t hurt, either.  
J.R. and Karina… are safe. Good!
The other stars huddle with Brooke. Nancy tells Brooke she doesn’t feel like a contender. She’s just happy to be there. And she had to go straight home last night, because Lucy threw up. That’s lovely. 
Next, we have a performance from Kristin Chenoweth. Perfectly nice little country song. 
Ricki and Derek join Nancy and Tristan on the block. We’ll learn their fate… after the break.
Ricki and Derek are, of course, safe. Nancy and Tristan are… also safe. Huh. Go figure. I really thought Nancy would have gone home by now — or at least she’d go home before Chynna. But again, it’s an unpredictable season.
Oh, goody. A clip segment of the stars talking about the challenges of being on the show set to dramatic music. They all have to step it up. David Arquette is okay with getting shot with cortizone. Nancy just wants to say she did it. Blah, blah, blah. I’m sure all of this is perfectly sincere, but maybe a bunch of stressed out stars isn’t what people need to see when unemployment is sky high and “food insecurity” has reached record numbers. Just a thought.
Corbin Bleu and our Macy’s Stars of Dance do a tribute to Broadway choreographed by Kenny Ortega. Wow, Bleu looks COMPLETELY different without the big hair. On the one hand, he looks more mature. On the other, he looks pretty anonymous. As you might expect, he does a fine job of singing and dancing to Ortega’s choreography, which is also as strong as you’d expect. We get the usual suspects, though — “West Side Story,” for example — except for the segment from “In the Heights,” which is a nice surprise. Judging from “DWTS,” you’d think Broadway effectively stopped producing anything new around 1980. 
Martina McBride performs “I’m Gonna Love You Through It.” It’s a happy, upbeat cancer song. Just kidding. It’s a sad, moving cancer song. They don’t shy away from this stuff in country music.
Next we have David and Kym facing off against Chaz and Lacey. Oh, my. Chaz does not want to be called an Ewok again. He feels like Bruno is calling him a fat troll every week. Well, he’s not wrong to feel insulted, although I have to say — being called a cute little penguin is not quite as insulting as being called a fat troll. But I guess it doesn’t feel very manly, either.
The next couple coming back next week is… David and Kym. Chaz and Lacey are in danger. How could they not be? Sorry, but Chaz is really struggling on the dance floor. As much as I hope he gets into shape, I think he needed to be in better shape just to do the show. 
Mark, Lacey and some fantastic dancing kids give us a preview of what we can expect from the Halloween episode. Apparently small children will try to strangle the judges. I’ll tune in for that!
Next, we get to Maks and Hope vs. Rob and Cheryl. And we get to relive Maks’ comments. Maks does apologize to Brooke for one thing — saying “DWTS” is “his” show. All the dancers and stars are important! But no, he isn’t taking back anything else he said, even if Carrie Ann looked like she wanted to throttle him for suggesting that Len retire. 
The next couple back is Rob and Cheryl. Hope and Maks are… in danger. Why oh why oh WHY is Rob still on this show? It’s like watching a ream of paper or a baked potato shuffle around the floor. 
Hope and Maks and Chaz and Lacey are our bottom two. Who’s going home? I couldn’t call it, really. But I suspect Chaz. 
The couple leaving right now is… Chaz and Lacey. Well, we won’t have this Ewok to push around anymore. He’s proud of his journey. He has no regrets. He wanted to show America a different kind of man, because if he’d seen someone like himself while he was growing up, it would have changed his whole life. I just hope his next challenge is something like “Celebrity Fit Club” or maybe a stocky man workout video or just something. It would suck to have gone through all the trouble of becoming a man to drop dead of a very manly heart attack.
Did you think it was Chaz’s time to go? Are you surprised Rob and Nancy are still in it? Were you surprised by Maks’ comments last night?