We Kept A Running Diary While Watching Keanu Reeves’ ‘Replicas’ (Which Is Very Unintentionally Funny, BTW)

01.11.19 5 days ago 7 Comments

Entertainment Studios

Replicas, the new movie starring Keanu Reeves (Johnny Mnemonic), did not screen early for press so, on this cold New York City January day, I trekked across town for the 10:10 a.m. screening on Manhattan’s Upper West Side. Not screening for press is never a good sign, but it’s still a Keanu Reeves movie. He has a certain knack for making things, at least, somewhat watchable, in a Keanu Reeves kind of way.

(As an aside, I want to finally share my Keanu Reeves story. I’ll make this short. A couple years ago I stopped by a New York Comic Con party for John Wick 2 to see a publicist friend of mine, even though I was not covering, nor accredited for New York Comic Con. When I arrived, my publicist friend said, “I have to take care of a couple of things, but in the meantime, you can meet Keanu!” So before I even knew what was happening, she drops me in front of Keanu Reeves and says, “You two talk,” and leaves us. What transpired next was five minutes of two people having absolutely nothing to say to each other, which happens from time to time, but this time one of these people is Keanu Reeves. At one point he asked, “So, how are you enjoying Comic Con?” And I replied, “I haven’t been to it.” I then asked, “So, it’s crazy there’s a new Point Break, right?” And he said something like, “I haven’t thought about it much.” But neither of us could just walk away because we were both supposed to “talk.” Anyway, that was maybe the longest five minutes of my life and I take full blame for it.)

Anyway, while I was watching Replicas I kept a running diary. Here’s how that all went.

10:33 a.m.: One of Keanu Reeves first lines of dialogue in Replicas is, “This man is dead.” This was already worth the price of admission.

10:34 a.m.: Thomas Middleditch from Silicon Valley is in this movie.

10:34 a.m.: Keanu Reeves and Thomas Middledith just did the whole, “Do you concur?” “I concur,” routine that I thought was banned since Catch Me If You Can came out.

10:35 a.m.: Keanu Reeves just said, “Energize the body.” They should charge double for this movie.

10:38 a.m.: So Keanu Reeves is a scientist who is trying to transfer human consciousness from dead bodies to robots. Okay, whatever, I’m in.

10:40 a.m.: Keanu Reeves has returned home to his family and Thomas Middleditch’s character also lives with them? The only explanation given is when Middleditch jokes, “Hello, foster family.”

10:40 a.m.: I also did not realize Alice Eve was in this movie.

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