Alert! Alert! The world’s favorite all-Jonas band, The Jonas Brothers, have broken up! And it’s a tragedy the likes of which most of us have never known. But before you break out the candles for your prayer vigil, why not treat yourself to a little Jonas humor first? Here’s a round-up of the sickest burns aimed at the dreamy trio of brothers.
Even the Jonas Brothers aren’t that into the Jonas Brothers anymore.
– Betty F*ckin’ White (@BettyFckinWhite) October 29, 2013
I’ll never forget where I wasn’t-giving-a-shit-about-the-Jonas-brothers when I heard they broke up.
– Rob Kutner (@ApocalypseHow) October 29, 2013
I can’t believe the Jonas Brothers broke up! They were my favorite boy brand!
– Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) October 29, 2013
I heard the Jonas Brothers are still gonna be a band, they just don’t want to be siblings anymore because of Nick’s diabetes. :(
– Caissie St.Onge (@Caissie) October 29, 2013
The Jonas Brothers split raises so many unanswered questions. Questions like: what is the name of one song by the Jonas Brothers?
– Eli Braden (@EliBraden) October 29, 2013
Calm down, everyone. Jonas Brothers didn’t break up. They just ate some mushrooms and became Super Jonas Brothers.
– Nick Stadler (@Nickadoo) October 29, 2013
Suffice it to say my Jonas-Brothers-as-conjoined-twins costume is now a $3,000 TRAINWRECK!!
– Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) October 29, 2013
At least House Republicans managed to dismantle the Jonas Brothers.
– Ronan Farrow (@RonanFarrow) October 17, 2013
The Jonas Brothers have proven that some guys will go a long way to avoid being at a Jonas Brothers concert.
– John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) October 17, 2013
The Jonas Brothers have broken up. No word yet on who is going to keep their communal pube.
– Brandon Gutermuth (@UNTRESOR) October 29, 2013
The Jonas Brothers cancelled their tour. They wanted to spend less time with their family.
– Matt Goldich (@MattGoldich) October 10, 2013
calling the jonas brothers Shadow Hanson from now on
– nice_monster (@nice_mustard) October 29, 2013
If The Jonas Brothers ever break up I will kill myself
– Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) October 29, 2013