With news of McDonald’s secret menu recently gone viral — in which those of us who are old and haven’t eaten at McDonald’s in years learned that the two cheeseburger meal isn’t a thing anymore — we wondered what other fast food secrets the world is missing out on. Thankfully, #HackTheMenu is a vast and wondrous resource when it comes to these super secret items, so here are some of the more, uh, interesting ideas we came across.
This is one of the touted “healthy” food hacks I found. Basically, you just order a Beefy Five-Layer Burrito from Taco Bell and ask them to swap guacamole for the nachos cheese, and you can even go a step further by asking them to remove the inner shell and hold the sour cream to make it “fresco.” I was actually not aware that Taco Bell served guacamole until now. Is it even remotely any good? No, don’t tell me. I prefer that it remain a mystery.
Wendy’s Meat Cube, on the other hand, is not a healthy food hack. Apparently, this one is well known by most Wendy’s locations. If you ask for a “Dave’s Hot ‘n Juicy 1-Pound Quadruple,” you will be served four 1/4 beef patties with all the fixin’s on a bun.
This one seems so obvious, like the food version of that Dayman vs. Nightman Batman v Superman mashup that hit the internet today. All you need for this one is to ask for the Burrito Bowl only with chips instead of rice at the bottom. Why have I not been doing this forever already?
I don’t have anything to say about this other than to link the clip of Michael Scott saying, “NO. GOD. PLEASE NO,” over and over again. Okay, fine. It’s all of the animals on a bun. Some Arby’s locations know what you want when you ask for a Meat Mountain. If not, simply ask for a sandwich “filled with every type of meat they serve” and Cheddar and Swiss cheese. If you don’t feel like a sad, filthy excuse for a human being while you’re eating it, you’re not doing it right.
Whopper made with veggie patties instead of beef. I don’t really understand this. If you’re vegetarian, go eat someplace else. There are better places to get vegetarian food than Burger King.
Are we still boycotting Chick-fil-A? I can never keep my moral outrage when it comes to fast food straight anymore. Well, this seems like as good an excuse as any to take a break from protesting, because Chick-fil-A will make you a buffalo chicken sandwich if you ask for buffalo sauce on top of their Spicy Chicken Sandwich. Wait a minute, though… Chick-fil-A offers buffalo sauce, but doesn’t already have a buffalo chicken sandwich? Ugh, they really are the worst.