Investigators are still combing their way through the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, where the Oregon militia occupied the government land for a tense forty days. Reports by The Washington Post have stated that guns, explosives, and booby traps have been left behind by Ammon Bundy and his crew of “Citizens for Constitutional Freedom,” making life difficult for federal agents eager to deem the site clear of danger. Unfortunately, they left behind no leftover tasty snacks, but a byproduct of their treats consumed during the occupation was so prevalent, an investigator had to mention that there was “a significant amount of feces” on the site.
But, how much feces is significant? A turd left in the middle of my hallway is significant for me, but perhaps the FBI knows that these situations always end up with a decent amount of waste leftover at an occupation site. So, for the investigator to say “significant” is interesting to me. How much was there?
Full disclosure: I’m no mathematician, but I attempted to get to the bottom of how much poop could’ve been left behind at the occupation site. I hope to get to the bottom of this through crowdsourcing if need be.
First, according to PoopHealth.com:
..the average person poops approximately once a day—about 1 ounce of stool for each 12 pounds of her or his body weight. That means a person weighing 160 pounds produces an average of just under a pound of poop each day.
Since these men are strong Texans, I’m putting their average weight to 200 pounds. I’m also assuming, for the sake of this equation, that they were all pooping in the same area every time. Yes, I know they used the toilet (sometimes) and weren’t all pooping in the same trench, but we’re going back to the “significant amount of feces” remark that was the genesis of this whole, weird thing.
- 8 men occupied the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge for 40 days.
- Each man weighed 200 pounds on average (this is a guess).
- Humans produce 1 ounce of stool for each 12 pounds of bodyweight. So 200 divided by 12 is 16.7 ounces of feces per day, per militia man on average.
- One ounce is .0625 pounds.
- 16.7 ounces of waste per person is 1.04 pounds of waste per person, per day.
- 1.04 pounds of feces x 8 = 8.32 pounds produced per day.
- 8.32 pounds of poop over 40 days is 332.8 pounds.
Some other things that weigh 330 pounds:
One giant (male) panda.
12 gold bars.
100 human brains.
250 basketballs.
350 American footballs.
450 cans of soup.
700 hamsters.
11 corgis.
Is there a 332.8 pound pile of poop left for Steve-O to jump in at the refuge? No. But, there’s likely a minefield of turds for the FBI to dodge. Whether the ditch holds more than a few hundred pounds of feces may never be known, but it’s possible.
(Via The Washington Post)