Do Not Go To Craigslist Los Angeles

Additional advice: If Lenny Dykstra contacts you on Craiglist Los Angeles and wants you to come over to his house and be his “personal assistant”, don’t do it, it’s a trap.

According to the L.A. City Attorney, Lenny allegedly went to Craigslist and posted ads for a personal assistant or housekeeping services … but when the women arrived, Dykstra would “inform the women that the job also required them to give a massage and would expose himself to them.”

Officials say Dykstra pulled the XXX bait and switch at least 6 times.

I feel like it shouldn’t be too hard to say “Lenny Dykstra offered me a job at his house, let me Google Lenny Dykstra and make sure he’s not a lunatic”, but then again I’m the guy who thinks you shouldn’t use Craigslist for anything more personal than selling a futon. The second red flag should’ve been when you knocked on the door and it was answered by a C.H.U.D. businessman with a grapefruit-sized clod of refuse dirt in his mouth.

If convicted (and come on, of course he will be) Dykstra faces more jail time being tacked on to the time he’s already spending. TMZ’s excellent and informative reporting says he’s “already in custody in L.A. on a MYRIAD of federal and state charges for allegedly doing all sorts of other bad stuff” (myriad is their capitalization, not mine), and their inability to click their own “Lenny Dykstra” tag and tell you he’s a drug dealer, car thief and friend of Charlie Sheen makes me wish they ran a formal sports blog.

“Derek Jeter has BRUTALLY BROKEN up with Minka Kelly. Jeter, the HANDSOME BEAU famous for doing things, said things.”

Maybe TMZ needs an assistant. I did go to massage therapy school, after all.

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