Kinect PlayFit: Finally a Game Console Can Tell You You're a Fatty

Senior Contributor

The Kinect PlayFit is a new app that’s really designed to be a shame machine. Really, giving game consoles cameras meant it was only a matter of time before they started getting snippy and judgemental. Now it’s official: they’re sitting there, with their unblinking eyes, judging you as you eat that deep-fried Twinkie.

Kinect PlayFit looks at how much you move during Kinect games like Just Dance and Kinect Star Wars. From that, it estimates how many calories you’ve burned and makes sure that you feel even more than the crushing shame you deserve for owning Kinect Star Wars in the first place. And even better, it can show you, and your friends, how lazy you are compared to other people!

You can even get credit depending on how many calories you lose. And if you’re not shy about sharing your stats, you can post your progress and see how you fare against other Xbox Live subscribers. Leaderboards rank your achievements against those of other users.

Apparently future plans for this involve not just making you feel like a sentient pile of lard but also collecting health data about you. And there are plans to incorporate some sort of heart monitor into the PlayFit app, which would also be shown on the leaderboards with your consent.

Of course, this also means that Microsoft would have this gigantic database of Americans, how much they exercise, and a sense of their heart health in a database! A private database that legally, they can sell to any jackass willing to meet their price!

Yeah, we don’t see this ending badly. Not at all.

image courtesy Microsoft

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