Netflix’s Response To Verizon’s Cease And Desist Is A Lesson In Killing With Kindness

I understand that Netflix is a corporation, a faceless entity without an actual soul, but hell if I haven’t fallen in love with the company. They’re my new favorite anti-hero. I actually find myself rooting for Netflix, as though it were a character in a meth soap opera, and if it were a character in a soap opera, it just bitch-slapped the Gus Fring with a healthy dose of passive-aggressive kindness.

Part of why I like Netflix so much (besides great original programming, obvs.) is that it’s out on the frontlines fighting for Net Neutrality. Granted, Netflix has a huge stake in the outcome, but I at least appreciate that their concerns line up with my own. They’re also looking out for their subscribers. Recently, they began alerting their subscribers to the fact that certain ISPs — like Verizon — were the cause behind slow connection speeds, applying pressure directly on the ISPs to improve their service or lose a subscriber. Verizon, in fact, is the worst ISP in North America in terms of Netflix connection speed.

Verizon, in turn, sent a cease and desist letter to Netflix to tell them to stop, because Netflix was pissing off Verizon’s customers, which was the point. After all, Netflix had paid Verizon for a better connection for its customers, and Verizon has been slow to cooperate with their agreement. However, as we reported yesterday, Netflix did cave in to Verizon’s demands, but not before replying to the cease and desist with their own f**k you letter, which kindly tells Verizon to get its sh*t together.

Here’s the entire letter (which can also be read in full here), but if you read between the kindness, this is my own summary:

Dear Verizon:

Fix your sh*t. Don’t blame your crappy Internet on us. You are being assholes to your customers. We gave you the tools to improve your Netflix connection speed so use them, dipsh*ts, or we will make your life a living hell. If you thought the buffering alerts were bad, wait until you see what we have in store for you next.

Get it together, Verizon.



Source: Scribd