Qualcomm Debuts New, 75% Faster Chips At CES

We could get into the nitty-gritty technical specifications, but the short of it is this: If you own a smartphone, and it’s not a smartphone from Apple, the good news is that Android sets will get chips up to 75% faster in terms of processing speed, and capable of 150 MB speeds over a 4G network. Basically, Qualcomm just turned your neat phone into a crappy paperweight.

Qualcomm has debuted the 600 and 800 series of its Snapdragon processors, which are, well, basically in every phone you can name without a picture of a glowing fruit cut out of the back:

Overall, the 800 processors deliver performance up to 75 percent better than the company’s current top offering that’s used in products like the LG Optimus G. The 600 processors, meanwhile, have performance up to 40 percent better than the older chips.

Both processors, like their predecessors, are quad core, and they are the first to feature Qualcomm’s new CPU codenamed Krait.

Oh, by the way, the built-in 4G system on these new processors not only uses new networking standard 802.11ac, it also can transfer data at 150 MB per second. Current chipsets can only manage 35MB per second. Not that you’ll actually notice the different that much, since to get those speeds you’ll need networks that can actually reach them, but hey, once they finally upgrade, it’ll be snappy!

In other words, anything that doesn’t already have Snapdragon crammed into it is likely to start getting it stuffed in there soon. Expect to find these things in TVs, appliances, tablets, and quite possibly some of your more private orifices. We might recommend powdering those now.