Trimit To Help Kill English Language, Social Networks

Senior Contributor

Let’s just get something out of the way right now: if u typ lk u r Princ, evryby h8s d sht out of u. Seriously. Yeah, Twitter’s only 140 characters, but it’s not that restrictive. Even most of the vainglorious bastards we feature every month actually bother to use full words. God forbid you’d actually THINK about what you were saying.

Now, for just a dollar, you can buy Trimit, the app that, with just one shake, makes your text look like it was written by somebody with no grasp of the English language! Serious, type in your text, shake, and it removes all those pesky vowels and all that irritating “respect” anybody reading your missive might have had for you.

What’s especially depressing is that the technology is actually pretty impressive. The missives subjected to Trimit are readable, just stupid. Even worse, people are recommending it for long articles so you can just get the gist. Wait, a simplified language that removes content and context for the sake of “efficiency”? Somewhere, George Orwell is laughing.

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