We Downloaded LeBron’s App, So You Don’t Have To

LeBron James is a man with a healthy ego. Certainly, he’s got reason to think highly of himself. But his new app, exclusive to Samsung devices, might be just a wee bit narcissistic.

To give you an idea of just how self-involved this app is, there’s a section dedicated entirely to what LeBron’s been wearing and eating. I’m not kidding. I saw the “Style” section and thought it was going to be dedicated to selling his fans jerseys and the like. Nope! It’s about his clothes! Granted, there is some element of promotion here: You can say that about the entirely of this app. But it also seems sincere; he thinks millions of people give a crap about his pants.

It’s to be expected that this app is all about LeBron, because, well, it’s a LeBron James app. But honestly, I’m surprised the app doesn’t include the weight and chemical consistency of his turds. It’s an app both uncomfortably invasive and unpleasantly vain. Samsung and James have managed to capture, digitally, the sensation of being stuck in an elevator with a coworker who just will not stop talking about their personal life.

This is obviously entirely for people obsessed with LeBron James and to a lesser extent the team he plays for. But while celebrity vanity is nothing new, to have it commodified and used to plug phones is a little disturbing. LeBron is interesting on and off the court… but he isn’t this interesting.