Why Nobody Wants A Smartwatch Even Though Tech Companies Insist On Making Them

It has been a bad, bad week for people who think the future of computing is sitting on your wrist. The Samsung Galaxy Gear is getting ripped to pieces by the tech press. A new look at demand for the iWatch essentially says it’s not worth the enormous amount of money Apple is throwing at it. So why is so much money being spent on something seemingly nobody wants? And why don’t they want it?

The Concept Is Dated

Take a look at this Galaxy Gear ad, a supercut of people talking at their watch, and see if you can spot the common thread in the clips:

If you said “There’s not a clip in there that dates past 1995”, congratulations, you have more insight into pop culture than the ad agency who made that clip. Not coincidentally, a lot of these shows happen to be items of pop cultural significance the people who run companies like Apple and Samsung grew up watching.

The sad fact of the matter is that cellphone watches have been on the market for years. LG even had one at the 2009 CES. They never went anywhere, and for a simple reason.

Watches Get Trashed

I don’t own a watch. Not for any sort of pretentious hippie reason, like some nonsense about how not owning a watch makes you live longer, but because I destroy them. Around the time, right out of college, I accidentally wrecked a $100 watch, I decided my cell phone was going to be good enough for checking the time.