What’s On Tonight: Felicity Goes Goth On ‘Arrow’

Arrow (The CW, 8:00 p.m.) – A massive computer virus shuts down Starling City, but Felicity struggles to help Ollie get to the bottom of it since she wrote the virus five years ago when she was a goth who went by the name Acid Burn and every TV and film franchise is connected in my mind.

The 48th Annual CMA Awards (ABC, 8:00 p.m.) – Inxplicably, Meghan Trainor is bringing her “All About That Bass” ear-worm to the CMAs for a duet with Miranda Lambert that is sure to be the highlight of the night, assuming that no one tries to top Katy Perry and Riff Raff’s country fried fashion fabulosity from the MTV VMAs.

Inglorious Basterds (TNT, 8:00 p.m.) – Come for the Nazi-stomping fun, stay for what I assume will be some hilarious curse word replacement dubs.

The 100 (CW, 9:00 p.m.) – Abby gets tortured by Desmond from Lost, and Clarke aligns with Anya while I try to figure out how Jasper survived a spear to the chest in the pilot episode last season, because I’m bad at letting go of things.

The Getaway: Jack McBrayer in Hawaii (Esquire, 9:00 p.m.) – Kenneth the Page learning how to hula dance is the deep cut of tonight’s TV lineup.

The Red Band Society (FOX, 9:00 p.m.) – Mandy Moore guest stars in the latest episode of this cancer-laden medical series, but something tells me that she won’t be reprising her Jamie Sullivan role from A Walk to Remember. Too soon?

South Park (Comedy Central, 10:00 p.m.) – Terrance and Philip don’t like the fact that kids are getting addicted to their mobile game in an episode that feels like a comment on the whole Flappy Bird imbroglio from last February.

American Horror Story: Freak Show (FX, 10:00 p.m.) – I’m not watching the clown murder show. If you want to, be my guest. Maybe your *ss can afford therapy, but mine can’t.

Key and Peele (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.) – Danger broke down the magical elements of Strike Force Eagle 3: The Reckoning, but this episoode also features “the greatest sex-crimes detective in history” and a gluttonous frozen yogurt employee.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Julie Bowen and a CMA winner on Kimmel; Jennifer Lopez and Rob Riggle on Letterman; Bob Newhart and Melissa Rauch on Ferguson; Bette Midler and Jim Gaffigan on Fallon; Elijah Wood and Cecily Strong on Meyers; and Howie Mandel on Conan.