I have a complicated relationship with Halloween. I like candy and being able to dress like a nerd in public with no social repercussions, but I’m also lazy. If a Halloween costume takes me more than 10-minutes to put together, I’m having no part of it.
I know I can’t be the only one like this, so this article is dedicated to the nerds who absolutely doesn’t give a s–t what they wear 364 days a year, and aren’t going to change for Halloween. Here are 12 video game related Halloween costumes you can pull off with a minimum of effort…
Puffy haired chicks and pills you need to carry with two hands. Dr. Mario knows how to party.
Wear white lab coat. Throw prescription drugs are partygoers. This one always goes over well.
Dress in normal button up shirt and slacks combo. Act normally. What, do you think Master Chief goes to parties in his friggin’ robot suit?
Same as above, except be a girl and wear girl clothes.
“Awesome mid-90s sedan bro. Cool if I give it a few flying uppercuts?”
Tear sleeves off a white shirt. Wear red sweatband. Punch and kick the host’s car.
Choose four partygoers to be “ghosts”. Spend the evening alternating between running away from them and chasing them into a closet. A note — having some form of jaundice really helps with this one. Try to work on that between now and Halloween.
Un-tuck left side of shirt. Find the sassiest lady at the party — engage in smug repartee.
Buy “sexy” cat/devil/angel/hamburger costume from the dollar store. Remove cat ears/devil horns/angel wings/hamburgeriness.
Draw a barcode on the back of your neck. Introduce yourself to people at the party by sneaking up behind them and giving them a playful fake garrotting.
Wear a green wig. Fall face first off the back deck as many times as necessary for people to start getting it.
“My pants are so full of decorative candles. So full.”
Wear a puffy pirate shirt. Stuff as many small objects down your pants as possible. Talk to everyone at least three times.
Wear thick glasses, be really into science and don’t speak. Hmmm, actually if you regularly read this blog this one might be a little too easy.
A Guy From Grand Theft Auto
Just f–king rob the place.