32 horrible facts that will make you hate every QB

11.22.13 5 years ago 86 Comments

QBs are the superstars of football. If football were acting then QBs would be Tom Hanks. QBs are super important, play the toughest position in the game, and are generally looked upon as gods, except if they are on rival teams. They are handed the world on a platter and probably poop literal gold nuggets.

But QBs are still human. Therefore, QBs still do horrible things. Horrible, scummy, terrible things that would make you want to kill all of them. I have done extensive research and discovered horrible habits of every QB.

Warning, you may never enjoy football again.

1. Jay Cutler doesn’t do the hand wave when you let him into your lane
2. Ryan Tannehil talks on Blue Tooth while waiting in line, and glares at you when you accidentally answer him
3. Joe Flacco likes to interrupt you when you talk
4. Geno Smith wears socks with sandals

5. Jason Campbell likes to get on the subway train before people get off
6. EJ Manuel drives 40mph in the passing lane
7. Sam Bradford uses too many hashtags #KSK #Bullshit #HORRIBLE #tweeting
8. Chad Henne doesn’t cover his mouth when he sneezes
9. Matt Ryan talks loudly in movie theaters

10. Carson Palmer never brings his own beer and just mooches off yours
11. Drew Brees orders food at a restaurant 5 minutes before closing
12. Tony Romo won’t stop posting stupid baby pictures to facebook
13. Aaron Rodgers never holds the elevator door

14. Russel Wilson uses the word “Preggers” in conversation
15. Jake Locker always shows up late
16. Cam Newton doesn’t replace the toilet paper roll, just leaves the new roll on top the tank
17. Tom Brady eats his pizza with a fork

18. Colin Kaepernick walks slowly in the middle of the sidewalk
19. Andy Dalton thinks the Star Wars Prequels are better than the Original Trilogy

20. Case Keenum corrects your grammar
21. Christian Ponder won’t shut up about his diet
22. Matthew Stafford picks the urinal next to you even when no one else is in the bathroom
23. Eli Manning goes in the express lane with more than the item limit

24. Alex Smith can’t decide what he wants in the Starbucks line
25. Mike Glennon says the punchlines of jokes you tell before you say them
26. Nick Foles is a story topper
27. RG3 talks with his mouth full

28. Andrew Luck gives weak high fives
29. Ben Roethlisberger leaves his cart in the middle of the isle at the grocery store
30. Matt McGloin wears too much cologne
31. Peyton Manning farts and blames other people

And the worst one of all.

Philip Rivers likes Scrappy Doo.

There is a special seat in hell for you, Philip Rivers.

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