It’s not every day you come across a headline with the words “fish” and “sex” placed together, one after the other, without the writer being mistaken. But when it happens, it also comes with screenshots taken from a viral video allegedly shot in Romania. With non-linked references to websites like “Vidmax” and “Slutload,” you just assume it exists and hope all the soap in the restroom is enough to literally wash away the memory from you brain’s grey matter.
According to Metro, the video was shot in Eastern Europe and features two blurry individual engaged in a nonconsensual act with the fish in question.
It shows a man in waist-deep water laughing as he receives a blowjob from a carp – which is being pushed into his genitals by another man.
Stuffed carp is a traditional feast during the Romanian Christmas holidays.
Many people catch their own fish and keep them at home in a bath tub to fatten up for the festive period.
There’s nothing about this scenario that allows me to maintain any sort of professional decorum. As soon as I read the words “Stuffed carp,” I vowed never to catch, eat, or socialize with fish in any way, shape, or form.
It seems Romanian singer Florin Rada (a derivative of Flo Rida?) shares my sentiment, as his Facebook followers accused him of being the man in the video. He adamantly denied the claims, and threatened to sue anyone in the news media who alleged as much, according to the Daily Star:
“I want to issue a statement to make quite clear that this person on the video doing this with the fish is not me, and I have already told Romanian television that if they broadcast it and say that it is me, then I will sue them.”
Twitter has since caught on to the viral video mystery with tweets ranging between disgust and admiration of the unidentified gentleman’s master baiting skills.
https://twitter.com/gmpaiella/status/547164739542196224
Chatter on Twitter about a video called 2 guys 1 fish. It apparently involves oral sex and a fish. #smellslikechicken
— Glenn Johnson (@Glenn_A_Johnson) December 22, 2014
Sources: Metro and Daily Star