Production note: I am leading this post with a picture of a panda climbing on stuff. I think you’ll see why.

No. NO. Absolutely not. There’s is no reason for “zombie snakes” to be a thing. Do you hear me, Mother Nature? NO.

Rattlesnake venom destroys tissues and causes crippling paralysis, sometimes leading to death. When Santa Cruz homeowner Thomas Scott encounters the deadly predator in his garage, he takes matters into his own hands. However, unlike mammals, reptile reflexes remain deadly after death. In fact, they can still bite and deliver a killing dose of venom up to an hour after being decapitated. And after Thomas delivers what he thought was a deadly blow, the snake’s head, severed from its body, continues to scan the area, waiting for an opportunity to strike. [NatGeo]

There’s video of the decapitated zombie snake at that NatGeo link if you’re a deranged crazy person who wants to see that sort of thing (I’ve watched it twice), but the video is not embeddable, so I’ll just leave this terrifying picture after the jump and go back to NEVER GOING OUTSIDE AGAIN. Suddenly that lady whose house burned down after she lit the snake on fire in her yard doesn’t seem so unreasonable.

Banner image via Shutterstock