Amazon, the best place to buy enemas discreetly, has recently come under fire for its allegedly unpleasant working conditions. But if you thought that crying at your desk and being refused a break was bad, then you might be broken of your Amazon habit when you read about what goes on in the bathrooms.
According to a former Amazon employee writing for Motherboard, workers can’t even get a second of peace in the one place at work where people are supposed to leave you alone… the bathroom. No, instead of pretending that nobody poops, like society intended, the people working to make sure you get your giant gummy bears as quickly as possible talk through their bathroom duties. About Amazon.
The most horrifying moment of my employment at Amazon was the time I was using the toilet and a coworker began talking from the stall next to me. He asked me why I had not responded to his very pressing email. I closed my eyes and pretended this wasn’t happening. What email could be so important that it could not wait five minutes for me to use the bathroom? He began tapping on the wall between our stalls, asking why I wouldn’t respond, as if inter-stall conversation should be a totally normal, not disgusting means of communication.
That’s some dedication to work right there. It doesn’t matter if the guy in the next stall is straining out his Taco Bell from the night before because there’s a pressing email that needs answering. And the tapping! Who taps on the stall walls to get someone’s attention?
But it gets so much worse:
He became more specific about what he needed—referencing a project I’d never heard of, nor would I ever have involvement in—and I realized he had misidentified me from my shoes. (Many brown dress shoes look alike, apparently.) We both exited our stalls around the same time, and he realized his mistake. He didn’t apologize, only explained that he thought I was someone else. As we washed our hands, he just laughed, and I vowed I would never use the stalls on that floor again.
Can you imagine? You’re just trying to get through a few rounds of Angry Birds while you let nature take its course, and one of your co-workers is all over you about some email. And you’re not even the person they’re looking for. And it turns out that this isn’t just one of those embarrassing nightmares you have, but actual real life which you have to continue living every day.
You can read the rest of the fascinating (if terrifying) story here and be thankful that your own bathroom situation isn’t as bad. Or is it?