Somehow, it’s been more than four years since Parks and Recreation aired its final episode, and, quite frankly, the world is a worse off place without it. But while the Pawnee gang may have ridden off into the sunset, the spirits of Leslie Knope, Ron Swanson, Tom, Donna, Gerry, April, Andy, and the rest carry on in the lives of others. Such is the case of engineer and seed investor Kane Hsieh, who recalled a lovely tribute to his dad on Father’s Day.
“This Father’s Day, I compiled the most on-brand anecdotes of my dad, who is basically an Asian Ron Swanson,” wrote @Kane, indicating the start of a thread.
1/ This Father’s Day, I compiled the most on-brand anecdotes of my dad, who is basically an Asian Ron Swanson. Thread: pic.twitter.com/zlB244clSl
— Kane 謝凱堯 (@kane) June 16, 2019
Kane went on to describe his dad, who had been trained as a military scout and likes his meat, beer, whiskey, while distrusting politicians — which should tell you all you need to know going into this story.
“Growing up, we asked if we could get GPS for our cars,” he continued. “He insisted we learn to use paper maps and memorize routes without making marks. Why? If you’re ever captured, you don’t want evidence of your plans.” Uh, fair point?
3/ When we visited aquariums, my dad liked to visit the fish he had eaten or aspired to eat.
— Kane 謝凱堯 (@kane) June 16, 2019
And of course, his dad is skilled in the art of using a huge-ass meat cleaver:
5/ Related to meat and cooking, my dad thinks different kinds of kitchen knives are a scam by Big Cutlery.
He uses one huge cleaver, which he keeps honed to a razor edge, to do all his cooking.
— Kane 謝凱堯 (@kane) June 16, 2019
7/ My dad really likes light beer. When my sister was graduating from BU, my dad heard that frat parties served free beer. So he wandered into one and helped himself to beer. I hear that the brothers were too bemused to kick him out so he had a few beers and left.
— Kane 謝凱堯 (@kane) June 16, 2019
9/ The neighborhood blue jays started frequenting our house, which my dad liked.
Blue jays are known to be assholes. When my dad was on biz trips, his entourage of blue jays would attack our house and caw at 6 AM until someone went out to feed them peanuts.
— Kane 謝凱堯 (@kane) June 16, 2019
And naturally Kane’s dad works for the federal government, which — much like the real Ron Swanson — he views as basically like retirement:
11/ When my dad had to plan a family trip he took us to… the Robert Moses Niagara Hydroelectric Power Station.
Standing on the shore, he turned to me unprompted and said “if you ever have to work for the government, work for a utility – they generate their own revenue"
— Kane 謝凱堯 (@kane) June 16, 2019
13/ My dad bought a Rolex decades ago for work when it was on a list of certified chronometers for his engineering work.
I told him it was hip now and had appreciated, and he was flabbergasted. “Why should this appreciate when it is an obsolete technology now? That’s silly."
— Kane 謝凱堯 (@kane) June 16, 2019
(For some reason, part 15 was deleted due to “professional reasons,” so moving on…)
“My dad’s favorite activity when we go on family trips is napping,” Kane resumed tweeting. “He’ll nap in the galleries of museums, in his seat during musicals, on a bench in parks.”
15/ My dad’s favorite activity when we go on family trips is napping. He’ll nap in the galleries of museums, in his seat during musicals, on a bench in parks.
— Kane 謝凱堯 (@kane) June 16, 2019
17/ My dad grows a bunch of stuff: tomatoes, cucumbers, beans, peppers, zucchini, etc.
When we were little, my dad asked me and my sister to relieve ourselves into a bucket in the back yard since it was good fertilizer and free.
My mom quickly put an end to that.
— Kane 謝凱堯 (@kane) June 16, 2019
19/ Like most 90s kids, I *love* Pokemon.
When I explained to my dad what Pokemon was, he nodded in understanding and told me he and his friends would catch and fight scorpions when he was stationed in Kuwait, and Pokemon was kind of like that.
— Kane 謝凱堯 (@kane) June 16, 2019
21/ My dad votes for whichever party is not in power. “I don’t trust any of them."
— Kane 謝凱堯 (@kane) June 16, 2019
23/ My dad has this skill where he can put a steamed spare rib in his mouth, and while reading a newspaper, spit out a completely clean bone (kind of like eating a cherry). He does this at dim sum all the time.
— Kane 謝凱堯 (@kane) June 16, 2019
“Anyways there are an endless number of these anecdotes, but point being, thanks for everything dad,” Kane concluded his tribute. “I think.”
End/ Anyways there are an endless number of these anecdotes, but point being, thanks for everything dad. I think. ❤️ pic.twitter.com/Yn0QBNCCZ2
— Kane 謝凱堯 (@kane) June 16, 2019
It didn’t take long for Kane’s tribute to go insanely viral, as many — including Nick Offerman, the OG real-life Ron Swason — felt inspired to share his story:
This thread is very good. https://t.co/XQKCf1ljQf
— Nick Offerman (@Nick_Offerman) June 17, 2019
Thread of the day https://t.co/hXwd358cno
— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) June 17, 2019
Best father’s day thread https://t.co/7OAclYPTpb
— Luke Kanies (@lkanies) June 16, 2019
Laughed all throughout this thread. Perfect. https://t.co/Vxpsqc1iZ4
— Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦 (@cmclymer) June 16, 2019
Great Dad thread: https://t.co/8Oq4Tnhj5W
— Soledad O'Brien (@soledadobrien) June 16, 2019
He sounds like a good man. https://t.co/xZiv9zLEv3
— Parks and Recreation (@parksandrec) June 16, 2019
On Monday, Kane provided an epilogue and update, noting that his dad appreciates all the Twitter love.
An update to the blue jays: pic.twitter.com/AVRuVYf8Rd
— Kane 謝凱堯 (@kane) June 17, 2019
Perhaps therein lies the main difference between Kane’s dad and Ron Swanson. Ron Swanson would literally starve before succumbing to vegetarianism, even for three days.