Bernie Sanders turned 82 years old today. Happy birthday, Bernie. 82 sounds old because, well, it is. But age is just number when you’re still throwing heat and flashing serious leather on the pitchers mound.
“Happy Birthday Bernie!! Best husband, father and grandfather over all these years!” Bernie’s wife Jane tweeted on Friday, along with a video of Sanders playing baseball with, I assume, his grandkid. During the windup, Bernie does his best Hideo Nomo homage before throwing the ball. His grandson hits an off-balance line drive — right into Bernie’s glove. That’s some impressive reflexes for someone who doesn’t claim to be the “perfect physical specimen.”
Bernie already has one offer from a minor league team:
we have an open roster spot for him
— Portland Pickles (@picklesbaseball) September 8, 2023
And the appreciation of his favorite band, Ratboys:
Fckin KING shit right here. Good god https://t.co/YRCzHOvoOr
— Ratboys (@Ratboysband) September 8, 2023
If the New York Mets signed Bernie today, he would be the third best pitcher on the roster.
Maybe we shouldn’t be surprised by Sanders’ athleticism: he was track star in high school. “I was a very good athlete,” he told CNN in 2016. “I was pretty good basketball player. My elementary school in Brooklyn won the borough championship — hardly worth mentioning, but we did. And, yes, I did take third place in the New York City indoor one-mile race. I was a very good long-distance runner — not a great runner, but I was captain of my cross-country team, won a lot of cross-country meets and certainly won a lot of races.”
Bernie, 82, should challenge Mitch McConnell, 81, to a race.
I don’t think I’ve tweeted any Bernie in literal years, but I do find it funny how everyone was like “he’s too old!!!” and now the president, senate minority leader, and leading opposition candidate all take turns having strokes on live tv and everyone is like “this is fine” https://t.co/CByhJW24HY
— Cassie Pritchard (again) (@hecubian_devil) September 8, 2023
Holy shit https://t.co/stqyaSX8sY
— pj (@pjayevans) September 8, 2023
ayo for his age this is genuinely a wild play https://t.co/8OED0sT1yb
— Mac (@GoodPoliticGuy) September 8, 2023
Senator now is the time to fulfill your childhood dream of becoming a starting pitcher for the Dodgers https://t.co/iAeiwRbHE3
— David Grossman (@davidgross_man) September 8, 2023
this may have immediately changed my opinion on age limits for elected officials. buddy fucking flashed the leather https://t.co/ksjzvxPtoh
— ND (with the "upmost" respect) 🏁 (@nathand_12) September 8, 2023
How’s the kid gonna go up the middle on Bernie???? https://t.co/KEhFEKWUh5
— Rick Paulas (@rick_paulas) September 8, 2023
Thought he had a line drive up the middle no sir https://t.co/w6PTneeTbv
— Justin🦩Boldaji (@justinboldaji) September 8, 2023
We don’t need age limits in our government. If they can do this, they can stay. https://t.co/QQryzIXmz5
— cinnamon bun (@notsofiacoppola) September 8, 2023