Bill O'Reilly: Abe Lincoln Would Not Appear On 'Between Two Ferns' With Zach Galifianakis

03.12.14 5 years ago 94 Comments

Fresh on the heels of a GOP congressman blasting Obama for appearing in a Funny or Die video because Benghazi, Bill O’Reilly — whose team of ghostwriters once wrote a book about Abe Lincoln — took to the airwaves last night to declare that Lincoln would never do such a thing.

“I’m all for PR and if (presidential spokesman Jay) Carney wanted to go on Funny or Die, fine. But the president of the United States? All I can tell is you Abe Lincoln would not have done it,” O’Reilly said confidently. “There comes a point when serious times call for serious action.”

O’Reilly then got in the obligatory Fox News line about doing the video making Obama look like more of a p*ssy in comparison to Putin: “Putin is clearly testing the president. It looks like Putin believes the president is a lightweight, will a comedy video counter that? Just asking?”

He somehow forgot to mention that Lincoln would also never be caught dead in “mom jeans,” but then again he’s probably mentioned that at least 5000 times previously.

Other things Abe Lincoln would never do…

Reference Mad Men in a State of the Union address.

Binge watch True Detective and Game of Thrones.

Bone Beyonce.

Sing Daft Punk songs. (Techno is so gay and European.)

Allow himself to be interviewed on the Super Bowl pregame show by a woefully unprepared agent of a propaganda machine.

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