BREAKING: Redditor Stores Years Of Ejaculate In Old Shoe Box

Even for many people who “get” the internet, Reddit can be a confusing mystery, a labyrinth of web nerd jargon interspersed with wonderful and disgusting things. With that said, what I’m about to share with you may be the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen on Reddit, aide from the rampant kiddie porn, of course.

The disgusting thing I’m referring to was birthed by a recent thread titled, “What’s your secret that could literally ruin your life if it came out?” — leading a Redditor with the handle “Lynfect” to offer up the following…

Cousin died when we were both seventeen. There was a reception at his house just after the funeral. I went into his room and stole all the money that was there, took some other valuables that his parents wouldn’t realize were gone. No one knows that I did it, they just assumed he didn’t have any money in his room, only loose change. I don’t regret it, but I will never admit I did it.

Also my cum box.

Oh, wait, what’s this about a “cum box,” Lynfect? You didn’t think you could just toss that out there and not have your fellow Redditors demand to know more, did you?

Well, it is exactly what it sounds like. It’s a shoebox, or at least once was, and whenever I masturbate I cum into it. I’ve had it for two or three years now I think, so it has a fair amount of cum. It smells atrocious, and I tried to burn it once. When I lit it on fire, it was too damp due to the cum that it simply sizzled and didn’t manage to actually lite up. Turns out burning cum smells awful, so I had to spray it with a deodorant body spray just to get the old smell of burnt cum away. It also has some drenched papers stuck to it. That’s pretty much it.

A lot of people are asking me, why? Well, I’m apparently a rather disturbed individual. But, it just kind of happened, bought new shoes and needed someplace to cum, used the box. It just escalated from there, kept using it each time, telling myself I would throw it out soon. Never did, two or three years later, I still have it. It was planned or anything, it just happened.

Now, if you’re curious to see what a burn-damaged “cum box” looks like, you can see it here. But I must warn you — no amount of eye bleach can help you unsee it.

This is what bathroom sink and shower drains were made for, people!

(HT: Drew Magary Pic via Shutterstock)