Can Andrew Niccol Make A Stephenie Meyer Story Watchable?

Did you know Twilight-writer Stephenie Meyer wrote another book after the Twilight series which was called The Host and was #1 on The New York Times Bestseller List for 26 weeks?  Did you also know we are doomed?  DOOOOMED.

Anyway, we somehow didn’t notice the book’s release back in 2008, but now we have no choice: it’s coming to theaters.  Open Road Films is distributing, Andrew Niccol (Gattaca) is writing and directing, and Saoirse Ronan (Hanna, The Lovely Bones) will star.   This totally-original sci-fi story opens in a post-apocalyptic world where an unseen alien race called “souls” are invading the bodies of humans — body snatching you might call it — and few un-snatched humans remain.  Ronan will play a newly-snatched human who is able to resist the alien:

When Melanie, one of the few remaining “wild” humans, is captured, she is certain it is her end. Wanderer, the invading “soul” who has been given Melanie’s body, was warned about the challenges of living inside a human: the overwhelming emotions, the glut of senses, the too-vivid memories. But there was one difficulty Wanderer didn’t expect: the former tenant of her body refusing to relinquish possession of her mind.  When outside forces make Wanderer and Melanie unwilling allies, they set off on a dangerous and uncertain search for the man they both love. [Official Press Release]

Oh, Stephenie Meyer, always the feminist.  The whole human race is ending, but we need to find a boyfriend.  Let’s take this alien parasite off on a trip to find some of the last remaining humans who’ve managed to avoid alien parasites so far.  That’s not treason; it’s true love.

The film is set to release on Easter weekend 2013.  I’m sure they’ll have such great writing to base the script adaptation on:

I call shenanigans.  Those herps and derps don’t include the phrase “Edward’s perfect face” even once.

[Pictures via ThePlaylist, TheFrogman, and commenter Jacktion!]