Here Are All The Reasons Chris Pratt Is The Hero The Galaxy Deserves Right Now

When your galaxy’s in peril from a genocidal maniac named Ronan the Accuser—as happens from time to time—you want the best on your side. Captain America? Iron Man? Losers, all of them. Andy f*cking Dwyer is where it’s at. Why have guardians of the galaxy when all we need is Chris Pratt? Need convincing, you faithless wretches? Behold.

1) Chris Pratt is a bona fide action hero with natural aptitude for faking out his opponents:

2) He knows all about the importance of stealth:

3) He’s so good at detective work he impresses even himself:

4) Have you ever seen a plan better than this?:

5) He doesn’t fall! Bucky Barnes:

6) He laughs in the face of certain death:

7) He knows what things are:

Things have proven to be very important in saving the galaxy, after all.

8) He knows the true key to military power:

Red Skull, the Mandarin, Loki. None of them have lions. All of them were defeated. Coincidence?

9) His physical prowess is impossible to match:

10) The bad guys want to conceal their secret plans? Good luck with that. He’s Chris Pratt, and he’s with the f*cking guardians of the galaxy:

Your move, bad guys.