https://twitter.com/DonaldJTrumpJr/status/925495970032443392
According to this truly spooky scary Halloween tweet, Donald Trump Jr. thinks socialism is defined as follows: Some people work, and others stay home and reap all the benefits. Ironically, socialism is far closer to a neighborhood agreeing to go out and buy candy to pass out to their neighbors and their children in an effort to produce a pleasant, inclusive society in which everyone gets a tasty treat. Even more ironically, most neighborhoods around Halloween participate in a sort of Democratic Socialism by being able to opt out of the whole candy giving thing by simply turning off the light on their front porch.
Anyway, let’s break down Trump Jr.’s tweet here, because it’s really quite interesting. He says: “I’m going to take half of Chloe’s candy tonight & give it to some kid who sat at home. It’s never to (sic) early to teach her about socialism.”
This translates to: Laborer (cute kid in Halloween costume) acquires capital (candy) which is then given to their boss (father) who decides to it to give to someone of their choosing. Possibly for dirt on their political opponent, or information on Russian adoption policies.
This irony crushes the souls of the proletariat (a people that have been treated unkindly by the Trumps on countless occasions) with the force of 65,844,954 frozen Reeses peanut butter cups. And so, the internet went at it.
I'll promise a kid 20 pieces of candy for cleaning her room then only pay her 3. It's never *too early to teach her how Trumps do business. https://t.co/OOmx4qXIi6
— Anthony DeVito 💰 (@AnthonyDeVito) November 1, 2017
Because socialists sit at home but trust fund capitalists have the guts to get out of the house and ask people to give them stuff for free! https://t.co/7pO5EgMi6C
— Frank Conniff (@FrankConniff) November 1, 2017
https://twitter.com/richard_kyanka/status/925506833250508800
That’s a good idea. Their parents were probably working, not that you’d know what that’s like. https://t.co/gcSesQM7AZ
— Alana Massey (@AlanaMassey) November 1, 2017
Reminder: she didn’t work for this candy; she got it because of the kindness of her community. https://t.co/X4uFoTNM1t
— Emily Andras (@emtothea) November 1, 2017
https://twitter.com/ryanlcooper/status/925520397977767936
Or you could give 90% of her candy to the one richest kid in the neighborhood.
It's never too early to teach her about Republicanism. https://t.co/gARIEd0qfM
— Mikel Jollett (@Mikel_Jollett) October 31, 2017
You could TELL her you're donating the candy to charity, but then really funnel 100k of it to yourself. (Ask Uncle Eric about that!) https://t.co/XXwns1ZLYa
— Soledad O'Brien (@soledadobrien) November 1, 2017
…or, you could tell her you're taking it to help kids with cancer but then leave a wrapper trail so she can learn how Trump charities work
— The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) October 31, 2017
https://twitter.com/Trisha_Bateman/status/925505416527826945
You mean the candy that she got for free out of the goodness of strangers' hearts? 😂😂😂
— Attorney@Law (@TheGlare_TM) October 31, 2017
https://twitter.com/Trek779/status/925502655647989760
https://twitter.com/ManMadeMoon/status/925503148428378112
Actually the kid who stayed home is the REAL AMERICAN who doesn't believe in free handouts. https://t.co/YIdoyBVaXk
— Steven Hyden (@Steven_Hyden) November 1, 2017
https://twitter.com/heysarahsweeney/status/925532053860442113
Learn the difference between "to" and "too" before you try teaching her anything there, bright lights. https://t.co/YgBAMYPrlS
— Chris Jones (@EnswellJones) November 1, 2017
Why don't you teach her that some parents work full-time at Walmart & still qualify for Food Stamps you dumb asshole https://t.co/O9ZKkBNm3p
— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) October 31, 2017