Trump Wants ‘Every School Across Our Land’ To Have A Copy Of A Delusional Children’s Book About ‘Handsome King Donald’

What scared you as a kid? Was it Large Marge from Pee-wee’s Big Adventure? Or that creepy episode of Rugrats with “Big Boy”? Or maybe it was “The Green Ribbon”? If any of those apply to you, consider yourself lucky. You got off easy; your parents could have really messed you up if they had read you the new book, The Plot Against the King, a “fantastical retelling of [a] terrible true story” about “handsome King Donald.”

Hm, I wonder who that could be about? Hint: it’s not the one true king Donald.

Over on his struggling social media platform TRUTH Social, Donald Trump reached out to followers about The Plot Against the King, written by Kash Patel. “The Plot Against the King is the true story about the Russia Collusion hoax, written for children, by my friend @Kash,” it reads. “Live the tale thru the eyes of great characters like the handsome King Donald and Kash the Wizard.” Referring to himself, I mean, King Donald as “handsome” is actually one of Trump’s more understated self-compliments.

The post continues, “This story showcases how Hillary Queenton and a Shifty Knight tried to destroy our democracy, but truth and the MAGA King prevailed. Support this great patriot, educate our children, and put a copy in every school across our land.”

Pulitzer Prize and Nobel Prize in Literature-winning novelist Toni Morrison? BANNED. But The Plot Against the King, where a monarch and a wizard fight a lightly fictionalized Hillary Clinton using MAGA magic (MAGA-ic)? That’s fine. Very normal stuff.