Don’t Panic, But Science Says There’s Probably Poop In Your Beard


Don’t panic, but there’s a new study indicating that your beard is filled with poop particles, probably.

A group of men allowed KOAT Action 7 News in Albuquerque, N.M. to swab their beards for science. A microbiologist examined the specimens and discovered that dudes are walking around with toilets on their faces, basically.

Quest Diagnostics microbiologist John Golobic tested the swabs, and the results blew his mind.

“I’m usually not surprised and I was surprised by this,” Golobic said.

Several of the beards that were tested contained a lot of normal bacteria, but some were comparable to toilets.

“Those are the types of things you’d find in (fecal matter),” Golobic said, referring to the tests.

Now, you definitely shouldn’t panic because Golbic says that most of the bacteria found won’t lead to illness. He did, however, suggest that you scrub that beard immediately and try to keep your hands away from your face and the beards of others.

But, like, if we can’t pet all the beards in our lives, why even have beards at all?

(via Jezebel)