Last month on the Fail-Log, we discovered that many of us live in blissful ignorance of the world around us. Well, maybe not that blissful, considering the mistakes that are sometimes made in the name of Facebook. Did anything improve in the last month?
Well, we’re still at twenty entries so…no. Not at all.
You know, we’re not really sure who loses here. The Christian who got clowned, repeatedly, or the clowner in question who, for the sake of a joke, has firmly implanted in everyone’s mind that she takes it up the pooper from Superman’s boss.
But, hey, at least Frank Langella is happy about it, see?
That’s the smile of a man who knows he’s putting one up the pooper tonight.
Wait, there’s a competition for how fucked up each juggalo is? What do they do, stand on stage and detail their crappy minimum wage job, their floundering through high school, their desperate need for a social group while also desperately needing to be seen as an edgy outcast? And isn’t that just based on tits anyway?
Dude, if she doesn’t get a bad pun on the first go-round, making a pop culture reference is not going to work, either. You need to be less subtle at this point. Try “LOOK OUT SHE’S GOT A KNIFE!”
OK, great, you don’t have any form of cooter rot, but what in the name of unholy f*** is that thing on your finger? A wart? A ring? A tattoo? A tick feeding off you that you haven’t removed yet? What?
So, you’re going to cop a morally superior attitude…about how people spend too much time on their computers…on Facebook. So, I’m assuming smartphones don’t count as “computers” because they can receive calls.
You know, being dragged to the doctor by your parents for an STD exam is embarrassing enough. Er, in theory, we have absolutely no experience whatsoever with that, especially not with Dr. Kavner finding it hilarious. But posting the results, regardless of cleanliness, on Facebook is pretty bad, and Bryce’s parents had to realize this. And apparently, that just wasn’t quite humiliating enough.
Yeah, consulting the Player’s Handbook for relationship advice that works. Good luck with that.
Shortly after this, Matt was black-bagged and taken to the secret grammar Nazi detention camp, Redactau, where he was “revised” out of the movement. Let this be a warning, Grammar Nazis, as you goosestep through social media
…
That’s certainly one way of putting it.
“I’m just bummed Voldemort lost, because he was such a strong leader. Do you see any Mexicans in the Harry Potter movies? No, because Voldemort built a magic wall to keep them in Mexicanland!”
We also like how Bryan here believes he gave this clerk a job. Yeah, you’re the hiring manager of Wal-Mart, kid. Sure you are.
And this is why you ask your spouse before flying into a rage on Facebook. Also, we like how having a bike stolen is “tramatic”. If you’re still getting over that Big Wheel heist, maybe you need to reconsider this whole “adulthood” thing you’re laying claim to.
Later, Vincent wondered why nobody at the VFW wanted to shake his hand.
Our first question: What the hell kind of names are “Chelsey” and “Daiton”? Were these kids born in a land without books?
Our second question: Is Chelsey unknowingly adding a layer of irony, or is she a superb troll? Discuss.
On that note: who’s a better troll? Ron, or Chelsey?
No, Stephanie, you see, you don’t get to condescend to people in the grade below you when you type like a five-year-old and try to make up words like “Spanishan.” Also, could you please do us a favor, and do something to make yourself ineligible for any sort of government support? Thanks, we don’t want to support your idiocy.
I think a better question is if you were that stoned, how you managed to make a grilled cheese in the first place.
Whenever our friends break up, we have to hear about it on Facebook. Endlessly. Dramatically. Stabbily.
Thank you, Dale. You are a hero of the people.
You know, this isn’t the first time we’ve seen a Facebook status about getting naughty at the library. What is it about the library that brings out the sexual beast in women? Is it the smell? It’s the smell, isn’t it?
“Remember, honey, they’re you’re loathsome irritating little mistakes too.”
See, you do it often enough, it works. Aren’t you happy he’s doing this on Facebook instead of calling you?
That’s it for this month! Remember, check out Lamebook and Failbook for the runners-up in the lame sweepstakes, and until next month, keep your statuses specific, your wits about you, and for the love of God, use a spellcheck.
