I don’t write too often about sports over here but this story spans all the topics and I find it’s oddness delightful so I must share. George R. R. Martin (little known fact: each “R” is short for “Ray”) is the bearded fellow responsible for all the hardcore action, naked ladies, and Peter Dinklage awesomeness we can’t wait to return to HBO on April 1st. I haven’t read the books but I am familiar with the man thanks to being a dork and watching Game of Thrones interviews on HBO Go. What I was not familiar with until today though, is the man’s love for the New York Jets. That, my friends, was a bit of a shocker.
To make things even better he took to his Live Journal blog today to give a big 8-bit thumbs down to this morning’s trade for Tim Tebow. I wanted to cut his passage down, but it’s all too much fun, so here’s his full writeup, complete with animation…
I was drinking my morning coffee when the headline flashed across the bottom of the screen. That sound you heard was me choking and sputtering.
My Jets have given up two perfectly good draft picks for Tim Tebow, the worst quarterback in the National Football League.
Gak.
What the hell are they thinking over there at Gang Green central?
Mark Sanchez is not, as yet, Eli Manning, but he is a talented quarterback with a good arm and he completes more than fifty per cent of his passes, none of which can be said for Tebow. The last thing he needs is a stadium full of Timomaniacs screaming for Tebow every time a pass falls incomplete. The divisions in the Jets locker room last season were well documented. THis is just going to make those problems a thousand times worse.
Nor do I think that Tebow’s conspicuous piety will play well in the Big Apple. This is the city that once embraced Broadway Joe. Tebow would fit better in… well, if Branson, Missouri had an NFL team, that would be a perfect fit.
Location:topsy turvy land
Mood: distressed
Man, I thought I liked Game of Thrones before. Toss in the creator using anxious alien GIFs and links to fictional Google Maps locations over an NFL trade and we’re suddenly in a whole new stratosphere.
Also, Martin may actually be able to sleep well tonight.
George R. R. Martin via Deadspin. Slightly modified poster via Warming Glow.