‘Goat Simulator’ Is Becoming A Real Game

Goat Simulator was never intended to be a real game. It was a joke. A lighthearted goof. Something slapped together for a game jam. It was never intended to be a real product. But apparently, the team at Coffee Stain Studios underestimated the desire on the part of gamers to destroy things as a goat.

First, some background: Goat Simulator is a parody of all those boring sim “games” like Farming Simulator and City Sanitation Worker Simulator that are inexplicably popular, yet never covered by the gaming press because everybody thinks they’re a prank or something. The idea was that you’re a goat who runs around trashing everything, because goats are dicks.

You probably know Coffee Stain better from games like Sanctum 2, but it’s not hard to see why this has captured the minds of gamers everywhere. Here’s the first bit of footage, which is literally just a physics test.:

Apparently, the attempts to throw enough money at Coffee Stain that they’ll actually unleash this on the public have gotten frantic enough that they’ve relented; it’ll be available in Spring 2014 for Steam for $10.

They’ve also added a functionality where anything you can lick sticks to your tongue, meaning you not only get to headbutt and kick things into oblivion when you’re not busy being ragdollized, but that you can chase people around with an axe. Also they’re working on Steam Workshop support so you can run around and butt-scoot across user-generated levels. Because there’s nothing like spending hours on an exacting replica of your town to see somebody drag a digital goat butt across it.