Introduce Yourself To The Insane Theory That Proves Alex Jones Is Really Bill Hicks

It’s been quite a week in the land of crazy theories and speculation. The fountains of conspiracy are running steady and now we even have theories surrounding our own conspiracy theorists, namely Alex Jones. Now I don’t think Jones considers himself a conspiracy theorist, but his past appearances might lead others to think differently.

What is obvious here is that some folks think there is more to Jones than meets the eye. Some folks think the Alex Jones we know isn’t really Alex Jones at all. Some folks think Alex Jones is really the late comedian Bill Hicks.

Hicks is well known for being a genius, abrasive, vulgar, and skeptical voice on the 80s comedy circuit. The kind of guy that holds a certain mystique 20 years after his passing from pancreatic cancer. It’s really the sort of thing that you usually only see with guys like Elvis or Andy Kaufman and it’s all thanks to this 30-minute video. From Texas Monthly:

Thirty-three minutes is a long time to spend watching a conspiracy video, but with the promise of “irrefutable proof,” it’s hard not to at least be a little curious what the argument involves.

It begins with a bit from Hicks that opened his final comedy record, Rant In E Minor, in which Hicks—whom the sheeple would like you to believe was dying of pancreatic cancer at the time—claimed he had just sold a television series. After the audience cheers, he explains that the series is called Let’s Hunt and Kill Billy Ray Cyrus, who spent the early nineties as a mild country star before going on to his true purpose of raising his daughter, Miley, into the defining pop culture figure of 2013.

“Does this sound like a man who is DYING… Or a man who is planning for the FUTURE?!” the video asks.

From there the clip goes into detail about an alleged CIA plot to brainwash Hicks and utilize him as the sleeper agent Alex Jones. There’s a look at dental records, similar cosmetic features, and a comparison of the opinions shared by the two men (or the same man). It’s basically like every story in Room 237 combined into one odd Internet video. From The AV Club:

Hicks and Jones admittedly do share a passing similarity in looks, and both are given to passionate oratory, but Hicks existed on a wildly different side of the political divide than Jones. It also bears repeating that Hicks died 20 years ago, while Jones is a person who is alive, but don’t let’s get bogged down with such “red herring” details. Have you studied their teeth?

The video operates on several levels, acting as an unveiling of a Hicks-as-Jones conspiracy, taking aim at the purported one world government, all while smearing Jones, insinuating him as merely a puppet of the same government he claims to rail against.

I don’t think there is any imaginable circumstance that would make me believe this theory. It’s funny and the entire story is just my kind of crazy, I just can’t take it seriously.  This is aided by Jones himself denying the rumors on his show. The Infowars leader addressed the rumors in his own long winded way, citing that he’s talked to Hicks’ family, who are very upset that this is a thing,  and has even had many incidents occur in public revolving around the theory:

“I’ve already had, like three or four times over the years, I’ll be in a restaurant or at the grocery store. It’s like, ‘Bill, Bill, Bill!” And I’m sitting there ignoring it because I’m not Bill, and then they go, ‘Hey, Alex,’ and I turn around and, ‘Oh I was just seeing if you were Bill Hicks.'”

I’ve never believed that Bill Hicks was anyone but himself, but I do hold close that he would be closely aligned with folks like Alex Jones in today’s political climate. That has to be where the seed was planted.

People are quick to jump to political lines, especially when Jones or his contemporaries go against Barack Obama or the dreaded liberal media. At the same time, he’s called out all sides in the past and always lands closer to that Ron Paul spectrum of political belief. Take that for what you will because I have a hard time getting past the 9/11 stuff and all the yelling.

I do think that Hicks today would be in that similar camp. He just might still be a loner, of course. Christopher Hitchens made it clear that being a contrarian is a pretty lonely role in life and Hicks fit that bill. I just don’t think it would be weird to see Hicks at some sort of freedom rally or hanging out at the Ron Paul barbecue, even if he’s more apt to just lie in a field contemplating the universe.

At the end of the 1994 documentary about Hicks, It’s Just A Ride, Jay Leno—whom Hicks was fond of attacking unsparingly—talks about what Hicks might have developed into, had he lived. “It would have been a wonderful thing,” Leno says, “To see him as a sixty-year-old curmudgeon, still smoking and drinking, and looking terrible and talking about losing weight and never doing any of this.” And it’s possible that Hicks, who would be 53 if he were alive today, would have mellowed with age. But it’s also not impossible that had he lived, he’d take his passion for berating people who offended him and anti-government conspiracies on a sharp right turn. (via)

The whole clip is embedded below, but I don’t expect you to slog your way through the entire thing. It’s not the easiest thing to watch. It can be fun, though, especially if you’re interested in those looney conspiracy theories that seem to sprout up. In the end, Bill Hicks is technically still alive. It’s just through his work that he continues to live on, damning Billy Ray Cyrus at every turn.

(Via Texas Monthly / The AV Club / Castle Jennifer Bassett)