Is The Spidey Musical Ever Going To Officially Open?

Senior Contributor
03.09.11 3 Comments

Gamma Squad’s been covering this slow-motion train wreck for four months now and there’s no sign the train, despite having derailed, flipped, exploded, rammed through a children’s hospital on Pet a Happy Puppy Day, exploded and derailed again, somehow, is going to stop rolling. Seriously, I’ve been cranking out “Julie Taymor is allegedly insane” jokes and finding silly Spider-Man images for four months now. I’ve been reduced to Spider-Ham. Spider-Ham. You know what’s next? Rob Liefeld. This show has turned me into a monster.

The latest disaster? “Spider-Man: We’re Out of Stupid Light Switch Puns” has a delayed opening yet again, to June this time. Yes, there have been performances. Successful performances, in fact; the show is one of the most successful on Broadway, raking in $1.28 million so far. It’s had more “previews” than any show in history, with 99 performances on the wall and counting. But now that they’ve replaced the writers with somebody competent and brought in another director, they’ve got to retool the show, which means the official opening is delayed to around the time of the Tonys.

This is especially hilarious because the producers of the Tonys are harrumphing about the public being distracted from their show, as if anyone has ever cared, at all, about the Tonys.

Oh, also, Julie Taymor, who is insane (allegedly) may also be fired (allegedly). Not surprising: when you waste $65 million on a show that every single critic uses as a punching bag and has had a series of accidents that plain old shouldn’t have happened, that tends to reduce your job security.

Finally, a fun fact: you know what’s going to come out before this turkey officially opens? “Duke Nukem Forever.” Think about that.

[ via the No-Prize winners at the New York Times ]

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