Jimmy Kimmel Cannot Wrap His Brain Around All The Batsh*t Stuff In Maggie Haberman’s New Book About Trump

Maggie Haberman’s much-talked about new book, Confidence Man: The Making of Donald Trump and the Breaking of America, finally reached readers’ hot little hands on Tuesday. And if you think you’ve gotten all the dirt that’s contained within it from the various headlines it’s already made, Jimmy Kimmel is here to let you know that you are wrong — and that it’s more than 600 pages of batsh*t crazy stories about Donald Trump at his batsh*ttiest.

Kimmel himself couldn’t even choose just one anecdote from the book to share with viewers, so he kicked off Tuesday night’s show by laying out a smorgasbord of Trumpy shenanigans — most of which he hardly seemed to be able to believe.

It was a very big day for those of us who follow the adventures of this ridiculous person known as Donald Trump… And if you thought there wasn’t more all-to-tell, you were incorrect. There is so much stuff, starting with: When he was 5, Donald Trump — a 5-year old Donald Trump — threw rocks at a baby named Dennis. Basically, the same thing he did to Mike Pence many years later.

Kimmel went on to compare the book to “a 300-piece Family Value Meal” because of the many “nuggets” contained within. Such as:

Donald Trump believes gay people love him. In 2017, there was a meeting in the Oval Office. He asked his hedge fund manager, a guy named Paul Singer, he said, ‘Are you gay?’ and Paul Singer said, ‘No, but my son is.’ And Trump followed up by telling the guy that ‘The gays love me.’ The gays love you almost as much as they love being referred to as ‘the gays.’

Years ago, [Trump] was on a plane with Jeffrey Epstein’s gal pal Ghislaine Maxwell. He put on the movie Bloodsport, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme… And he had his then-13-year old son Eric fast-forward through the dialogue to get to the fight scenes in Bloodsport. The surprising part of that story is he let Eric on the plane.

When Joe Biden beat him, Trump told Rudy Giuliani to “do anything you have to do to get the election overturned.” And Rudy went right out and held a press conference outside a dildo store.

As Kimmel noted, Trump — who was interviewed several times for the book — “told Maggie Haberman that he wasn’t watching TV on January 6th during the [Capitol] riots, which is the opposite of what everyone who worked there said. He wasn’t watching TV, he was watching eight TVs. He was like, ‘There aren’t enough TVs! Bring in more televisions!’”

You can watch all of Kimmel’s revelations in the video above. Confidence Man is out now.