There’s One ‘Harry Potter’ Question J.K. Rowling Never Wants To Answer Again

With her 12.5 million followers on Twitter, author J.K. Rowling probably gets asked about Harry Potter approximately 492,948 times a day. “Why does a wizard need glasses?” “Why didn’t Fred and George Weasley see Peter Pettigrew on the Marauder’s Map?” “Which house would the Sorting Hat assign Donald Trump to?” (I think we know the answer to that one, actually.) Rowling is willing to play along with fan requests, but even she has her limit.

Last week, Pictures at a Revolution: Five Movies and the Birth of the New Hollywood author and Vulture contributor Mark Harris polled Twitter, “You are trapped in an elevator with one other person. What is the worst way he can start a conversation?” The options: “Jet fuel can’t melt steel,” “I just came from Crossfit,” “You seem neoliberal,” and the eventual winner with 31 percent of the vote, “Have you read Dianetics?” Rowling noticed the poll, but rather than choose one of Harris’ options, she came up with one of her own.

‘Got a bone to pick with you. Why’s the Snitch worth 150 points?…side that catches it always wins… makes no sense…’ & on & on forever.

Harry Potter readers complaining about the Quidditch point system is as old as Harry Potter itself, but it’s not a rabbit(‘s foot portkey) hole you want to travel down, unless you’re willing to read about — shudder — “game theory.” Just accept that it doesn’t make a lot of sense, and move onto more important matters. Like, shouldn’t a Time-Turner be used for something more important than a student being able to attend more classes?