EVERYBODY RELAX. False Alarm. Those pictures of Kevin Federline’s exalted donger — you know, the one that made babies with Britney Spears and those other ladies — are reportedly FAKE. What’s that, you say? Oh! Apparently there were pictures floating around of Kevin Federline, as TMZ so artfully put it. “gripping his Sexcalibur like he’s preparing for battle.”
But sources close to Federleezy say he’s 100% certain it’s a Photoshopped pic … not only because he has tattoos down by the dragon’s den which aren’t in the pic — but he also claims his shlong is way shlonger in real life.
Kevin Federline — That Penis Pic Is Bogus … My Real Dong's Hella Bigger http://t.co/lH6NsugN97
— TMZ (@TMZ) November 26, 2014
Whew, that was a close one. Now we can all just go back to forgetting about Kevin Federline until he finds a cure for cancer or becomes the first man to break the Space-time Continuum. Whichever comes first.