This handsome fella, 26-year-old Mikie Sawyer, was arrested on a felony charge for battering a person over the age of 65 (yes, that is an actual charge) after he assaulted an 80-year-old man at a Port Orange, Florida Applebee’s. Sawyer was acting belligerently and loudly cursing when the older man politely stepped in and asked him to watch his language, because Applebee’s is a FAMILY RESTAURANT, goddamnit.
Harry Sander told police that he was at the Applebee’s bar when he heard Sawyer “talking obscenities.” Sander said that he approached Sawyer “and asked him politely if he could please stop using the ‘f*ck’ word and stop talking so loud about ‘titties and ass,’” according to a police report.
After Sawyer replied that he did not have to stop cursing, Sander noted that in his home country of Germany, “you don’t speak in such a manner.” A witness told a Port Orange Police Department officer that Sawyer replied, “I don’t care where you are from whether it be Russia or Dutch take your ass to the other side of the bar.”
Ha! I can see the slip up he made there. You see, Dutch isn’t an actual place but a word used to describe a people or a language of — you know what, it’s fine. I don’t care if you’re from Dutch either. On the plus side, the other inmates at the Port Orange Police Department are probably totally cool with his language since fortunately he wasn’t arrested by the grammar police.
(Via The Smoking Gun)