Remember way back in November when Paper magazine revealed a cover that featured Kim Kardashian balancing a champagne glass on her impossibly large ass? I know, that was forever ago in Internet time, but the images from that photo shoot became a huge viral sensation, in spite of the fact that a quick Google search can find a video that shows Kardashian having sex, and they’ve even become a part of your kid’s education. Hell, even Pippa “Not Really Part of the Royal Family” Middleton is talking about Kardashian’s ass in December, if that gives you a better idea of just how huge that cover’s impact was on pop culture in 2014.
Naturally, when something becomes that important, it needs to be captured in an artistic medium so it can be celebrated for eternity, long after the Kardashian Empire’s run is ended by commoners storming their castle gates and setting the immortal Momager ablaze. Enter: Danish painter Uwe Max Jensen, who has used his very special “talent” to create a portrait of Kardashian’s behind. His talent? Painting with his penis. That’s right, the Dane used his ding-a-ling to draw that dynamic derriere.
You can check out the very NSFW photographic breakdown of his process on this website (via the Daily Dot), or you can use my abridged version here. Just so you know, my version features 100% less penis than the alternative. Whatever floats your boat, though.