The dream of a self-driving car seems as though it’s getting closer and closer every day, potentially freeing our hands and focus so that we might read, sleep, Skype with our families, or get a jump on the day’s work. Also masturbate. Unfortunately, a lot of people are going to masturbate when self-driving cars hit the market because, if one thing has been proven since the invention of the internet, the smart phone, the smart watch, the tablet, VR, and Google Glass, it is that masturbation is the pervy companion to all technological advancement.
With that said, however, the risk involved with self-pleasure while driving down the road in a time before self-driving cars should be obvious to you. Sadly, that wasn’t the case for a 58-year-old Michigan man, who died in a one-car-crash early Sunday morning.
From Michigan State Police, by way of FOX 2, Detroit’s local affiliate:
The driver was not wearing a seat belt when he lost control and rolled the car. He was partially ejected through the sunroof and died on scene. […] MSP revealed the man had been watching pornography and masturbating while driving. MSP also said the 58-year-old man was not wearing pants at the time of the crash.
I don’t mean to sound uncaring, but we’ve all been on the road past midnight bored out of our skulls. Without the challenge of other cars to keep you on your toes, it’s easy for the mind to wander. But, you know, blast the radio, down a Red Bull, don’t tie up your eyes, hands, etc. This is a tragic reminder of what can happen if you allow yourself to be distracted.
(Via FOX 2)