Patton Oswalt Responds To Imbecile Rancher Cliven Bundy With Absolute Obliteration

If you have tuned into the news lately, you’ve no doubt observed racist hillbilly rancher Cliven Bundy talking about how black people would be better off being slaves. It’s wedged between CNN still talking about Malaysian Airlines Flight 370. He then went on to make Fox News turn on him. That’s a difficult thing to do. Thankfully, Patton Oswalt responded, and as usual, it was amazing. Via Patton’s Facebook:

Very quickly, before my head explodes:

Quite a week for racism. And an even worse week for the apologists.

So can we at least proceed, in the inevitable “think pieces” about Cliven Bundy and Don Sterling, with the following defenses exploded and set aside:

1. Yes, Cliven Bundy was just “wondering” about the state of black people in 21st century AMERICA. And he’s allowed any thought. And we’re allowed to be horrified by those thoughts. Especially the thought that slavery kept black families together. The first thing the slave trade did was separate children from parents & husbands from wives. It was a for-profit goods & services enterprise and the best way to make a buck was to rotate your stock.

So in that case, what Cliven Bundy — a freeloader who receives subsidies from a government he doesn’t believe in– is “wondering” about is wrong. The way a shoplifter who “wonders” if he or she can get away with walking out of a store with a 6 pack of beer under their jacket is wrong. Again, you can have all the shitty, ignorant thoughts & opinions you want. And everyone else gets to call them shitty & ignorant. And maybe try to change your views with reasoned debate which, as you can see by my seething, I’m not attempting here.

Secondly, I’m already starting to see people defend Don Sterling with the, “He’s not racist — his girlfriend is black and Mexican!” line of “reasoning.” I heard this shit said to defend Lou Dobbs (Latino wife) and John Derbyshire (Asian wife).

Does ANYONE but me feel like that’s EXTRA creepy — the “reasonable” white guy generalizing and debasing a race of people based on anecdotal evidence or cherry-picked statistics, who gets a pass because they’ve selected a minority they’ve deemed okay to fuck? By that reasoning, every slave owner who ever raped one of his slaves was as egalitarian as MLK.

I mean, I’m just “wondering.”

Agreed on all accounts. The problem with it though is that there will always be people who disagree. The internet is full of wackos. The real lesson to that is to steer clear of the comments on Facebook.

Immediate regret.

(Via Patton Oswalt’s Facebook)