Possible Los Angeles Team logos

02.27.15 4 years ago 63 Comments

la2

LA Times

Los Angeles hasn’t had a team since the 90’s, when both its teams left because Los Angeles only likes winners and the Rams and Raiders are not winners. Also because their owners were snooty rich people (The Rams) or insane (The Raiders). Since then however, the NFL has grown significantly in popularity, and yet we still don’t have a team in the second biggest media market in the country. Most teams seem to be using LA more as a scare tactic to get their current city citizens to pay for new stadiums instead of actually moving. Remember those couple of weeks a few years ago when the Vikings were flirting with LA? Then Minneapolis folded and approved the stadium deal and Zygi Wilf laughed all the way to the bank. Then it was the Bills, and then Buffalo paid for the stadium upgrades, and Ralph Wilson laughed all the way to the bank. Then died. He was probably laughing as he did though.

Right now we’ve got an awkward threesome of teams all trying to see if they can make this LA relationship happen. One of them, possibly 2, but at least 1 is going to end up in LA in the next few years. The Rams seem to be the closest. The question is will they remain the Rams? What if they pull a Browns or Oilers and change their name when they end up in LA? Lets look at a few possible ideas they might go with.

Avocadoes
Do you like Avocados? Californians do. Avocados represent souther Cali people well. Leathery off-color skin, all green, organic squishy inside, plus a hard pit that used to be their souls
Billboards
I’ve been to Los Angeles once in my life. The one thing that I could simply not get over during my visit was an almost dystopian amount of billboards. At one point I’m pretty sure I saw a Billboard that advertised how to put ads on a Billboard.
Interchanges
Nobody actually knows where most lanes in Los Angeles interchanges go. Every day people drive these highways and simply pray they pick the off ramp that doesn’t lead to the abyss
Pursedogs
I feel this is pretty self explanatory
Ramgeles
The Raiders, Rams and Chargers should put aside their differences and merge into one super team.
Smog
Nobody is sure where the ball actually is, and nobody is sure if the QB is doing a hard count or coughing up his lung again
Stars
The Los Angeles Stars. For a low low fee of a couple hundred thousand you too could have a star on the 50 yard line of fame
Surfers
Watch a football game in a cramped stadium in a bad part of town surrounded by drunk assholes shouting around us at our bad team? Nah, we’d rather go outside since our weather doesn’t suck. Sports teams are for cities with bad weather, because their citizens have nothing else they can do with their miserable lives. Am I right, Green Bay?

 

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