Prepare To Be Well-Versed In James Franco’s ‘Spring Breakers’ Monologue About Shorts

Unless you’ve seen an early screening of the film — ala Filmdrunk — you’re anxiously awaiting the chance to see Spring Breakers this weekend when it’s released in theaters nationwide, if only to see James Franco do his best Riff Raff impression. Apparently, Franco has a monologue in the film about shorts that’s quite memorable and likely to be quoted for years to come. It goes something like this

“This is the f*ckin’ American dream. This is my f*ckin’ dream, y’all!

All this sheeyit! Look at my sheeyit!

I got … I got SHORTS! Every f*ckin’ color.

I got designer T-shirts!

I got gold bullets. Motherf*ckin’ VAM-pires.

I got Scarface. On repeat. SCARFACE ON REPEAT. Constant, y’all!

I got Escape! Calvin Klein Escape! Mix it up with Calvin Klein Be. Smell nice? I SMELL NICE!

That ain’t a f*ckin’ bed; that’s a f*ckin’ art piece. My f*ckin’ spaceship! U.S.S. Enterprise on this shit. I go to different planets on this motherf*cker! Me and my f*ckin’ Franklins here, we take off. TAKE OFF!

Look at my shit. Look at my shit! I got my blue Kool-Aid.

I got my f*ckin’ NUN-CHUCKS.

I got shurikens; I got different flavors.

I got them sais. Look at that shit, I got sais. I got blades!

Look at my sheeyit! This ain’t nuttin’, I got ROOMS of this shit!

I got my dark tannin’ oil … lay out by the pool, put on my dark tanning oil …

I got machine guns … Look at this, look at this motherf*cker here! Look at this motherf*cker! Huh? A f*cking army up in this shit!”

With that out of the way, Franco incorporated parts of the speech into this Alamo Drafthouse anti-texting PSA. Enjoy…

(Via Vulture)