Spain Wants To Build A ‘Hobbit’-Like Theme Park

Last month, the city of Rincon de la Victoria, Spain announced its plans to build an eight-hectare (about a third of a square mile) Middle Earth-inspired park called “La Comarca,” which in German means “a whale’s vagina*.” They’re calling it a theme park, but it sounds less like the thing with roller coasters and more like a regular park. But, y’know. Themed.

Except, it can’t actually be Middle Earth-themed because they don’t have permission to use Tolkien imagery, which makes some city officials nervous, as Warner Bros. is fairly litigious when it comes to one of their most successful franchises. However, city council representatives have said that “all the concepts will be original, they will not be able to be considered ‘copies’,” which should be considered a totally legit statement of intent, especially when they used a Frodo-lookalike at their press conference.

There will be a “City Park” area, “for those who want to enjoy the park without having to walk large distances,” (I’m translating that from press release talk to layman’s terms as: “benches for lazy assholes to sit on”); an “adventure zone,” with rock climbing walls and swingsets for the kids; replica Hobbit holes; and a small lake.

Those who are expecting Wizarding World of Harry Potter-level excitement from a Lord of the Rings theme park can look elsewhere, and those looking to tour the actual Shire (and by actual Shire, I mean the one they built for the films†) can travel to New Zealand.

“The Shire will become one of the major tourism attractions of our town,” said mayor Francisco Salado. “It will be a place in which family leisure, sports and nature will go hand-in-hand in a unique space of great beauty set in a time of fairy tales and the magic of the elves.”

I don’t recall a lot of elf magic in the Shire. Or, at all. They kind of just walk through it like it’s a truck stop on the I-80 to Grey Havens. See how super vague they’re being about magic and stuff, Warner Bros.? It’s not the Hobbit Shire, it’s totally another Shire.

What’s the Spanish word for “Schmire”?

It may soon be possible to celebrate your love of high fantasy without spending $80 on a magic wand — that doesn’t even work; thanks a lot, Universal Studios Muggle scum — as La Comarca is expected to be finished by the end of the year. Rincon de la Victoria will spend about $1.9 million to build it. No word on what their legal budget is when the Not Hobbiton launches and they get sued.

Via Euro Weekly News

*(Or, it means “The Shire” in Spanish.)