The 39 Headlines You Need to Become a Successful Video Game Blogger

If you read a lot of gaming blogs, you soon realize there are only so many things to be written about video games. Sure, the specific games and people being discussed may change, but it’s the same basic stories again and again.

Well, good news for any of you who want to get into the blogging game — I’m opening the vaults and giving you every single basic story you need to become a successful video game blogger. Don’t worry, there’s not actually that many to remember…

Blogger pic and Mila Kunis via Shutterstock, Oregon Trail Cake via Reddit and Jessica Nigri courtesy Joits on Flickr

Rumor: Incredibly Profitable Series May be Getting a Sequel!

Incredibly Profitable Series Sequel Announced!

Whoa! If it weren’t for that earlier rumor, I never would have seen this coming!

Is This Incredibly Profitable Series Getting Too Many Sequels?

Fanboy Baiting Editorial Where We Dare to Declare One Game/Console/Company Better than Another Game/Console/Company

Hey Guys, This Cake Looks Like Video Games!

Mmmm, dysentery cake is my favorite.

Financial Analysist Who Doesn’t Know Much About Gaming Has Made A Ridiculous Statement About The Gaming Industry

Financial Analysist Michael Pachter Who Does Know About Gaming, but Likes to Say Ridiculous Things on Purpose Has Made a Ridiculous Statement About The Gaming Industry

Holy Crap, Somebody Who Matters in the Real World and/or Is Attractive Said Something Nice About Video Games! They’re Good People.

Mila Kunis has said she likes gaming. Makes the boners feel all the more right.

Uh oh, Somebody Who Matters in the Real World and/or Is Attractive Said Something Bad About Video Games! Eh, We Never Liked ’em Anyways.

The Wii/Mobile Gaming/Facebook Games Are Coming to Destroy the Hardcore Shootery Games you Love!

New Hardcore Shootery Game Makes the Most Money Ever!

Could Consoles Be Finished?

Juicy New Rumors About the Next Wave Awesome New Consoles!

Even Juicier Rumors About the Next Wave of Awesome New Consoles That Totally Contradict the Last Rumors!

Even More Rumors That Totally Contradict the Last Two Sets and…Okay Okay, We’ll Stop Just Posting Whatever We See on NeoGAF

Nintendo’s actually making The Matrix according to some guy on 4chan!

Man Commits Crime Within the General Vicinity of Some Video Games! Are the Two Related? No, of Course Not. Orrrrr Are They? No! Buuuuut…

Some Politician Thinks Crimes and Video Games Are Related For Some Reason!

Hype Filled, Opinion-Free Preview of the Hot New Game You Want!

First Impressions of the Hot New Game You Want (It’d Be a Full Review, but They Didn’t Send Us an Advance Copy)

Review of the Hot New Game You Want! It’s Garbage!

Japan — It’s a Pretty Weird Place

Case in point…

Video Game Series You Played 20 Years Ago, and Forgot 19 Years Ago Finally Being Revived via Kickstarter

Comedy Article that 90 Percent of the Commenters Will Mistake For a Serious Article and Get Mad About

Very Serious Issue: There Needs to Be More Women/Minorities/Gays in Games, Writing About Games and Making Games!

New Game Includes Man Kissing!?!

Cosplay! Sexy Sexy Cosplay! Lots o’ Boobs Here!

Slow news day — let’s see what Jessica Nigri’s rack has been up to.

Nintendo/Sony/Microsoft Have Suffered a Minor Setback! Doomed? Probably

Whoa, Can You Believe What This Gaming Industry Bigwig Said in This Brief, Out-of-Context Quote?!

Why a Thing Everyone Likes is Bad

Why a Thing Everyone Hates is Good

Some Person Online Has Created a Painstaking Tribute to Video Games That Will Make You Feel All Warm and Nostalgic

Activision’s Being a Dick Again

Now EA’s Being a Dick Because They Saw Activision Doing It

Here’s a List of 5 to 10 Similar Video Game Related Things

Remember Old Games? Weren’t Those Good?

Alternatively, remember old games? Weren’t those bad?

Look at These Cool Video Game Toys You Man Babies!

BioWare Fans Continue to Hate BioWare Games

Some Random Guy at some Random Wal-Mart Entered Some Nonsense into the Inventory Computer. Is “Mario & Bubsy Championship Lacrosse” Coming Out This Holiday Season?!

Shigeru Miyamoto Said a Thing and It was Wise

“This is Mario. I made him.”