Meet Paul Knight, a British aspiring street criminal whose glorious rise to the top was cut short when he lost a phone during a mugging. That’s not so bad, but then he called the police to see if someone had, uh, turned it in.
According to the Sunderland Echo, Knight was trying to raise about $800 to settle a cocaine debt when he decided to rip off a couple in March. He chose to make off with a woman’s handbag, and dragged her to the ground as he tried to take it away. And he would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for those meddling — oh wait, he screwed this up all on his own.
Here’s the judge dropping an epic burn on Knight.
Judge Edward Bindloss told him: “You dropped your mobile phone and in a rather unsophisticated act you telephoned the police and inquired if someone had handed it in. That is how you came to be arrested.”
Even Knight’s lawyer tried to talk down the charges by calling his client a nincompoop who’s never going to rule an empire of streetwise youths with hearts of gold.
Fortunately for Knight’s victim, who stated she no longer feels comfortable leaving the house, the would-be thief is going to jail for two years.